Life has been hard this year. There have been many of days when it felt like things just kept coming at me from several directions at once. There have been health scares with my husband that have reminded me how quickly life can shift. I’m parenting grown children, which I’m learning still very much involves parenting, except now their lives and decisions are their own. There have been transitions at church, changes in my work, people I love walking through difficult things, and the regular responsibilities of life that don’t stop just because something else requires your attention.

Then there’s the busyness of it all. There are still emails to answer, meals to make, people who need you, places you said you would be, work that has to get done, and a life that keeps moving whether you feel ready to move with it or not. Sometimes you look up and realize you’ve been carrying quite a bit for quite a while.

Maybe you know that feeling.

Your version of hard may look different from mine. It might be grief, a difficult diagnosis, financial strain, the end of a relationship, a child who is struggling, a dream that doesn’t seem to be working out the way you thought it would, or simply too many things requiring something from you at the same time. Sometimes the hard thing is happening directly to you, and sometimes the hard thing is watching someone you love suffer while knowing there is very little you can do to change their circumstances. 

Either way, hard is hard. When you’ve been in a hard place for a while, you can start wondering what, if anything, is waiting for you on the other side. Jesus told us plainly that hard things would be a part of our lives. In John 16:33, He said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We love the part about overcoming. We love knowing that Jesus is victorious and that because we belong to Him, we have hope. But in order for Jesus to overcome, He had to have something to overcome.

Trouble. Hardship. Pain. Suffering.

When we look at the life of Jesus, we see someone who was well acquainted with all of those things. Jesus didn’t just die for our sins. He suffered and died. He experienced betrayal, rejection, physical pain, grief, and anguish, and He willingly walked toward the cross knowing what it would cost Him.

Hebrews 12:2 tells us that Jesus endured the cross “for the joy set before him.” There was something on the other side of His suffering, but knowing that didn’t make the suffering itself any less real.

I think that matters for those of us who find ourselves walking through hard things today.

When Life is Hard

Sometimes when you’re in the middle of something difficult, people are quick to tell you that everything is going to work out. They remind you to be grateful, trust God, have faith, and believe that something good will come from what you’re experiencing.

Now listen, I believe ALL of those things. I believe God is good. I believe He is faithful. I believe Romans 8:28 when it says that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

But I also believe that when something hurts, you are allowed to acknowledge that it hurts.

If you need to cry, cry. If you are disappointed with the way things have turned out, tell God you are disappointed. If you are confused about why He has allowed something to happen, ask your questions. If you are angry, bring your anger to Him too. The Psalms are full of people who loved God and still brought Him their fear, frustration, grief, and questions.

God can handle the truth about how you feel.

Sometimes faithfulness in a hard season simply looks like continuing to show up honestly before God while doing the next thing He has given you to do. You make the phone call. You have the hard conversation. You get out of bed and go to work. You take care of your family. You ask for help. You make the appointment. You pray again, even when you don’t have many words left.

You take it one day at a time because one day is enough to carry.

God Sees You in the Middle

One of the hardest parts of suffering is feeling as though no one fully understands what you are carrying. Even the people who love you may not understand what it takes for you to keep moving through your days.

But God does. 

Psalm 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” There is something comforting about knowing that God pays attention to our tears. Your grief is not insignificant to Him. Your disappointment is not something He expects you to simply get over. He sees what you have lost, what you are carrying, what you are afraid of, and what you are still hoping He will do.

That may not answer every question you have about why something happened. It may not change your circumstances today, but it does mean that you are never walking through the hard places of your life alone.

Nothing is Wasted

I wish I could tell you exactly what will be waiting for you on the other side of whatever you are walking through. Sometimes there is restoration. Sometimes there is an answered prayer. Sometimes God opens a door you couldn’t see because you were so focused on the one that closed. Sometimes you come through a difficult season with wisdom, strength, compassion, or a deeper understanding of God that you simply did not have before.

Other times… the outcome is not what you wanted at all.

That is why our hope cannot rest solely in the expectation that every difficult situation will eventually turn into the story we wanted. Our hope has to rest in the character of God. Romans 8:28 does not tell us that everything that happens to us will feel good. It tells us that God is able to make good out of it all. 

There are things in this life that are genuinely painful. There are losses we would never choose and circumstances we may never fully understand on this side of eternity, but even there, God is at work.

Nothing is ever wasted with God.

The cross is our greatest reminder of that truth. What looked like the worst possible ending became the means through which God offered us eternal life. The suffering was real, but it was not the end of the story.

There is Something on the Other Side

So what is on the other side of hard?

I don’t know exactly what it will look like for you. Maybe there will be healing or clarity. Maybe God will use what you have walked through to help you sit with someone else when their world falls apart. Maybe you will look back and recognize ways He was providing, protecting, or guiding you that you simply could not see while you were in the middle of it. What I know for sure is that God will use hard things in your life to increase your capacity to experience Him, to know Him, and to witness His wonder-working power in you and in your world.

There’s also the possibility that there will still be questions.

But for those of us who belong to Jesus, even the unanswered questions are not the whole story. Our ultimate hope is bigger than getting through our current circumstances. Revelation 21:4 tells us that there is coming a day when God “will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”

Jesus willingly suffered so that suffering would not be our forever.

Until that day comes, you can trust that the God who sees you will walk with you. You don’t have to have tomorrow figured out today. You don’t have to pretend that something doesn’t hurt. You don’t have to understand everything God is doing before you decide to trust Him.

Take the next step. Do what you can with the day that is in front of you. And when tomorrow comes, trust God for the grace you will need then.

I don’t know what your other side of hard will look like. I’m still walking through some hard things myself, but I do know this: God is with me. God is with all of us in the places we are right this very minute.

And He will still be God when we get to the other side.

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Reflection Questions: 

  1. Where in your current “hard” have you been tempted to hide your honest feelings from God instead of bringing them to Him? What would it look like this week to tell Him the truth about how you feel?
  2. Looking back at a past hard season, what’s one good thing that came out of it that you couldn’t have seen at the time?

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Chrystal is the Founder and CEO of The Sister Circle, an organization that exists to provide practical encouragement and equip women of faith to live with intention and purpose. Chrystal is also a best-selling author and speaker who reaches a wide audience, speaking at conferences, hosting her podcast, and leading the women’s ministry at her home church.