Chrystal, can you mentor me? 

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times someone has asked me this question. And truth be told… I want to! Mentoring, coaching, and discipline are my favorite things. I want to take every woman to coffee who asks me that question and sit and talk until we are done.

This is actually the reason the Inner Circle exists. It’s my way of providing virtual mentorship (and coffee) to many women at once, whether near or far. 

When I think about my journey in leadership, there have been countless mentors in my life who have walked me through hard things. I’ve received wisdom from women ahead of me in marriage, in raising children, in ministry, and in running a business. If you find that you have never been before where you are not, you probably have questions! I know I did. When you have never done some of the things you’re doing now, you need support. It’s an amazing thing to be able to glean from someone who is further down the road. And the same is true of leadership. 

Proverbs 11:14 says, “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” (NLT)

Developing as a leader will require you to connect with others who have arrived at the destination you aspire to reach. If you need mentoring for your lanes of leadership, here are some thoughts about how to best approach getting the wisdom you need.

Know your why

Before you go about looking for someone to mentor you, think about what you need to learn in this season. Try to get as specific as you can about the information you need to know. Are there any gaps in your knowledge? What are you working to achieve? What next steps are you unsure of that will raise your level of leadership? Start with what you need or don’t know. It’s important to get clear about what you want a mentor to give you so you don’t waste their time or yours. 

Reach out with intention

Think about the kind of leader you aspire to be. What would that person be doing now? Where are they serving? You might be surprised at the amount of wisdom already surrounding you. You can learn from a former boss, a leader in a ministry at your church, and even women in your family who have led their families well. 

When you reach out to a potential mentor, make it easy for them to help you. Ask them if they are available to meet you for coffee to chat about how they got started in business. Better yet,  figure out how you can come alongside them and put into practice what they’re doing. Help them set up for a conference. Volunteer to help them prepare dinner for their family. Be willing to serve them as you desire them to be of service to you. There are things you will pick up just by virtue of serving with someone and being in their scope of influence.

Respect the relationship

Care about what your mentor has going on as much as you want them to care about your success. Be appreciative of whatever time and advice they are able to offer. And after you receive the information you need, pay it forward. Pass along the knowledge you’ve acquired with someone in your sphere of influence. Truly, the best way to honor a mentor is to become one yourself.

You may find it necessary to have several mentors for different aspects of your life. One mentor can show you the ropes of managing a team, while another can teach you how to grow your business, and yet another could show you how to lead your family well.

Any easy way to get solid mentoring is to r-e-a-d. Mentorship can easily be found in the books you pick up and bring the wisdom close and center from people that you may never actually meet in person. You aren’t limited to books either, the blogs you read, or the podcasts you listen to, or even the YouTube videos you watch can all bring actionable wisdom and knowledge closer. 

Here’s what I know for sure: you want to live well while leading well.

Glean from leaders around you that are taking care of themselves while managing their affairs.

If you lead a ministry, business, or organization well and don’t exercise self-leadership, you will be on a path of self-defeat.

Pursue mentoring.

Pursue a balanced healthy life. 

Pursue the wisdom that God offers from His Word.

And know that whatever information, knowledge, or wisdom you need is always within your reach if you are willing to prioritize your growth and development as a leader.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What piece of wisdom are you missing in this season of your life?
  2. Is there someone in your life who has the information you need to succeed? If not, is there someone you admire from afar that you can reach out to?
  3. What steps will you take to connect with your potential mentor? If you’re not ready to reach out to someone, is there a book, podcast, or other medium you can glean wisdom from?

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Chrystal is the Founder and CEO of The Sister Circle, an organization that exists to provide practical encouragement and equip women of faith to live with intention and purpose. Chrystal is also a best-selling author and speaker who reaches a wide audience, speaking at conferences, hosting her podcast, and leading the women’s ministry at her home church.