A couple of days ago, my husband made his way into the bathroom, perched on the commode (lid-down) and watched me as I primped in front of the mirror getting ready to go somewhere.
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, wondering why in the world he was watching me. It was kind of like that “ummm… what-do-you-want look” to be honest.
After a few awkward moments of silence, he said thoughtfully, “You know, Chrystal, I married up.”
I made a full 180 degree turn and stared him square in the face. “What did you say?!?!?”
He repeated himself, “I marred up!”
Me: Ummm…what do you mean by that?
Him: You are the bomb. You still look good. You take care of me. You take care of the kids. You serve in ministry. You have written a book. You are smart….etc…etc…
Me: Silence. Eyes wide open. “Ummmm….thanks.”
Him: You know, Chrystal, you are a trophy wife.
Me: Smile slowly dawning. “Uhhh THANKS Jessie”
I’ve been flying high ever since.
Now do I look in the mirror and see what I think looks like a trophy wife? Nope. But it makes a big difference for me to know that HE thinks I am.
And while I know that the opinions of others should not determine the opinions we have ourselves, the right encouraging words from the right loving people can give us a good nudge in the right direction.
Words are powerful. Words give life. Words can set a standard.
Words can speak things into existence things that do not physically manifest themselves…yet.
My husband’s words got me to thinking… how do I bless other people with my words? How do I tell people who they are now and who they can be tomorrow? How do I use the power of my words to speak things into being?
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
– Ghandi
Lord knows, I do not see myself as coming anything close to what I think of when I envision what a trophy wife looks like. But it doesn’t really matter if my husband says that HE sees me that way! What I think of myself today can grow and change for the better if there is an idea planted in my mind that yields life giving thoughts tomorrow and encourages me to be more of who God created me to be.
“If I BELIEVE that I am a woman that my husband is proud of,
Maybe I will CONFESS more often that I am beautiful inside and out,
Then maybe I will ACT like the person I think I am designed to be,
Then just maybe I will BECOME the person that I am destined to be…
And that gets me to thinking…
What if I chose to speak life giving words to my husband? What if I were more purposeful in releasing words to my children that helped to shape the way they see themselves? What if every friend, co-worker, or even stranger who came my way left inspired because my words shined a light on who God says they are?
The tongue has the power of life and death… Proverbs 18:21
What if?
What if people who understood the power of their words, used that power to build up others around them?
Better yet, what if people understood this principle and decided to STOP using their words to tear others down?
What kind of world would we live in?
What kind of spirit would be in our homes?
What kind of atmosphere would we create in the places we move and operate in every day?
Trophy wife? Maybe so. Maybe not. But beautiful in the eye of the beholder. Definitely.
Help me Lord to behold my world — and the people in it — with words worthy of what we all have the possibility of becoming…
God has certainly given you the gift of expressing yourself in that draws readers in. I enjoyed reading today’s blog very much. I was actually surprised that you didn’t tear up after your husband said he married up. I thought that was so sweet, but also understand how being called a trophy wife isn’t the highest compliment. But after reading response I love the perspective he brought forth on marrying up. Thanks for sharing your everyday journey with us ❤!
Thanks Nadia. You are right about me not being sure how to take his “compliment”! LOL! Once I got his point I definitely felt honored. My husband is not a man of many words so when he says something he means it 🙂
Challenging blog. I have been asking the Lord to help me to be purposeful with my words. I have to be mindful to speak what I think. When I remember sweet words or things done by my husband tell him what he means to me. When a positive affirming thought comes to me about someone, share it. Life can’t come until the words are spoken. Thank you for the reminder.
wow,wow,Our God is GREAAAT.Your are a true “Trophy WIfe”