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How much intentionality do you put into your friendships? The work of developing and maintaining your circle of friends can be challenging at times, but you know what? It’s totally worth it.

It would take all day for me to explain all the ways in which my sister circles have enriched my life. Each one of my friends adds something unique to the mix.

But I had to realize early on that there is no perfect friend on this side of heaven. No one can be everything to me except for the Father Himself. When I released the friends in my life from the pressure of answering every call and meeting every need, I also released myself from having to be everything to everyone.  

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still very intentional about pouring into the friendships in my life. I’ve just accepted the fact that different friends are important for different reasons and sometimes different seasons. 

Life has also taught me that friends can be found in the most unlikely places. Something powerful happens when you take the limits off of what friendship can look like. 

On the latest episode of The Sister Circle Podcast, I dig deep into the key friendships to look for and what it takes to stay connected to the women in your life.

Close friends – You’ll know who these friends are because they have stood the test of time. You typically develop close friendships through a shared experience like attending the same college or going to the same church. Over time, these friendships get stronger and more solidified. These friends are the ones that you can trust to be real with you and who you feel safe to be honest with as well.

Affinity friends – These are the friends who share a hobby or interest with you, much like my podcast friends that I’ve connected with for the last 10 years. Maybe you both love music or have an appreciation for sharing new recipes. The friendship may still start out at the surface level but you can choose to learn more about them. When you choose to be intentional about connecting over shared interests, you have the ability to build lasting relationships that might go deeper than you ever expected. 

Work friends – This type of connection can develop naturally simply because you are in a shared environment for a condensed amount of time. Work friendships often begin because you spend more time with your coworkers than your own family! Sometimes a friendship is developed when you connect with coworkers after hours.

Same season friends – These friends are essential for living life well. With this kind of friend, you connect because you are going through a similar season in life. You may have connected over raising little kids or studying in the same class. Maybe you and your friend are both navigating the single life or learning how to be wives. Whatever the circumstance, you’re able to cling to one another for reassurance when you’re on the right track and for support when things have veered off track.

Lifelong friends – These women are your true blue friends. You know – your “ride-or-dies,” if you will. They have traversed through multiple seasons of life with you. Their family is your family. They are willing to have hard conversations with you. You may have become close as a result of time and experience, but you’ve made the decision to remain in each other’s lives for the long haul.

I’ve been blessed with lifelong friends who have rallied around me both in good times and bad times. I’ve also been in friendships that started off strong, only to drift apart over time. One thing is for sure: no matter the friendship, it all requires intentionality. But I believe so much in pursuing friendship because you deserve to be seen and loved for who you really are.

And when life happens, as it does to all of us, you’ll be so relieved to have friends who can show up for you when you need them most.

If you’ve experienced disappointment in your friendships, just know that you can try again. 

Is there someone you’ve wanted to connect with? Don’t be afraid to be the first one to reach out. You can start off slow and see where things go. As you become the friend you want to have, you will begin to attract the friends you need.

Highlights from Today’s Episode

  • Managing expectations in friendships
  • Developing different types of friendships
  • Persevering when disappointment happens

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Let’s Talk!

  1. What are your expectations for the friendships in your life? Are your expectations realistic or impossible to reach? 
  2. Are you overlooking any possible friendships in the different places and spaces in your life?
  3. As you become the friend you wish to have, what steps can you take to pursue the friends you need in your life?

 

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