My House Is Not My Home

My House Is Not My Home

There is a saying that is painted on the wall of my old house — the house I just moved out of.

It says…

In this house…

We do real.

We do mistakes.

We do I’m sorry.

We do second chances.

We do fun.


My daughter painted those words in the middle of our living room wall a few Christmases ago.

She kept me out of the house for a day and then when I came back, there was wrapping paper taped to the wall. 

It took everything in me not to go off on her for putting tape on the wall that was going to later peel off the paint.

On Christmas morning when I pulled off the red and green paper, I teared up. 

The saying on the wall was true.

We have not been a perfect family, but I’m so grateful that we can be real with one another.

We have made lots of mistakes and we try not to wait too long before saying “I’m sorry” and give one another a second chance.

And we do fun.  Lots and lots of fun.

The days in our house off of the narrow country road have come to a close but I haven’t forgotten the late nights with hot chocolate, the slumber parties in the living room next to the fire place, the races around the circular driveway out front, the summer evenings catching fireflies, the cook outs out back over the fire pit, and the races from one side of the long ranch-style house to the other.

We’ve had fun.

And while I’m sad to leave that house, I thought I’d even be sadder when it was torn down.


That’s right it’s getting torn down.

But I was surprised when I realized that there was now a big hole in the wall of painted words that characterized much of our family personality…


And it didn’t hurt so bad.


Because I was reminded that the house isn’t our home.

Wherever we are together is home.

Wherever we love each other, pray together, and support each other is are home.

Home can be the place where we fail but still be welcomed because we belong, regardless of how we perform.

Home is where we have the gift of time to bear witness to each others lives for years and attest to the fact that we each have grown into who we are.

Home is the place where we cry or where we get angry in the unfiltered-unedited-kind-of-way.

Home is where people see us at our best and also at our worst.

Home is the candles we burn, the foods that we cook and smell, the music that we play.

Home is the blankets we use ’til they are worn with holes, the movies we like to watch, the games we like to play.

Home is the traditions we have, the events we celebrate, and the pain we’ve shared.

Home is us.

Home is where we belong.

And that home is not confined to any house where we might be for a certain period of time.

Holes in House

Seeing the house come apart at the seams also reminds me of something.

I’m reminded that my body is a house.

And that it will not last forever.

I’m reminded that after years have gone by, it will start to break down, have problems, and maybe develop a “hole” or two.

I’m reminded that one day it will be lifeless and empty because my body is just that.

It’s a house.

It is not the home.

Home is me.

It’s my soul.

It’s the crux of who God created me to be when He gave me the gift of life.

And one day, I will change houses.

Because the real me was never designed to stay at this earthly address forever.

wide h ouse

So when I look in the mirror and see that my house is not as new as it use to be or that there are few things that need repair, I’m not dismayed.

Because my house is not my home.

glass pic

Home is the wonderful relationship I have with the God who made me and me learning everyday how to abide in His grace and mercy when I’m at my worst.

It’s knowing that when I’m walking closely with Him I’m at my best.

Home is the prayers I’ve prayed — some that have been answered and other answers for which I’m still awaiting a whisper from heaven.

Home is the peace that I have knowing that God is sovereign.  It’s the angst that I feel when I don’t understand what He is doing and why.

Home is how I’ve learned to trust Him even in the middle of discomfort, disappointment, and pain.

Home is me knowing that I’m accepted and even when I screw up big time, He loves me anyway.

Home is me learning that it’s okay to love myself.

Priscilla in Holes

It’s me appreciating all that God put in me when He made me “me” and celebrating that creation from an appreciation of the uniqueness of that gift.

Home is learning over time to be comfortable in my own skin because like it or not, it’s the house I own.

Home is knowing that I am more than what I wear, more than what my hair is doing on rainy days, and more than the mistakes I’ve made.

My house — this body I walk around in — it’s not my home.

Home is knowing that where I am…

And wherever He is with me.

I belong.

But since I’m currently occupying this house…

In this house…

We do real…

because God knows the real me and I’m learning to be more true to the real me each and every day that I live.

We do mistakes….

because I’ve made plenty of them and learned from most of them.  God help me to learn from the rest.

We do I’m sorry…

because I’m sorry humbles me, reminds me that I need forgiveness, that I’m not better than anyone else and gives me the ability to live forgiven.

We do second chances…

because without second chances where would I be?

We do fun…

because my God exists in living color.  He is creative and brilliant and expressive and extravagant.  He gave me a world full of things that bring me joy and it’s my job to look for joy and then to embrace it.

In this house… I am at home.

But it’s not about my house…

I’m home because in Him… I belong.


If you haven’t yet read my devotional over at Proverbs 31 Ministries, you can do so by CLICKING HERE. I pray that it encourages you in your walk with God.

I’ve designed some artwork so that you can have a reminder of the beauty of God’s presence.

In order to receive your free download, simply click on the watermarked image below.

Psalm 16 w:Watermark

By |2016-12-05T17:53:59+00:00September 2nd, 2016|Faith, Family|29 Comments
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  1. Tanya September 2, 2016 at 5:09 am - Reply

    Thank you Chrystal. What a blessing. Wow.

  2. Teresa September 2, 2016 at 7:57 am - Reply

    Love this. Thank you.

  3. Kathy September 2, 2016 at 8:04 am - Reply

    This is a beautiful description of what home is Chrystal. Thank you for sharing!

    • Chrystal Hurst September 2, 2016 at 8:25 am - Reply

      Thanks for reading…

  4. Kim September 2, 2016 at 8:45 am - Reply

    Thank you Chrystal for these awesome truths, I really needed to hear your words today, this week. And to be reminded that I don’t need to lament endings/death, that a house, my ‘house,’ my dog’s ‘house’ is not us/home, but just the place we currently live while here in the physical.

  5. shawnna griffin September 2, 2016 at 9:00 am - Reply

    Hey girl love the post! Such truth there in your words!

  6. Leah September 2, 2016 at 9:36 am - Reply

    This was good Chrystal. I needed to be reminded about what “home” really means.

  7. Leeann Garza September 2, 2016 at 9:41 am - Reply

    Oh you have no idea what this has done for my heart! Thank you so very much. I have never met you but I feel so close to you and I know that closeness comes from something only the Holy Spirit can give. So thankful to God for you as your words to someone like me fill me with hope and peace. You are an answered prayer. God bless you and your beautiful family.

    • Chrystal Hurst September 2, 2016 at 9:42 am - Reply

      Blessings to you Leeann!

  8. Sharon G. September 2, 2016 at 9:42 am - Reply

    Such wisdom. So many families are disconnected and out of sorts with one another. So often family folks refuse to give one another a break because of past mistakes. The very quality and essence of living are missed because of unforgiveness and unreasonable expectations we place on ourselves and others.

    Thanks for sharing. As usual, you keep it REAL! 🙂

  9. Terhonda September 2, 2016 at 11:42 am - Reply

    Wow that was amazing sister you inspire me! Blessings TeRhonda

  10. Joy September 2, 2016 at 12:14 pm - Reply

    Wow! And Amen
    You r truly a gifted writer, I thank God for your obedience in being so transparent. You r the real deal and that helps make me at home with you.

    • Chrystal Hurst September 2, 2016 at 4:54 pm - Reply

      Thanks for the encouragement.

  11. Cisely Johns September 2, 2016 at 3:49 pm - Reply

    I cried through this blog. Thank Chrystal!

  12. Lynzee September 3, 2016 at 1:34 am - Reply

    Proud of you!!! Thank you for always opening up your home to so many!!! ❤️

  13. Katie September 3, 2016 at 11:36 pm - Reply

    Chrystal..with tears rolling down my face, thank you for this. My heart needed it today! <3

    • Chrystal Hurst September 3, 2016 at 11:47 pm - Reply

      Hey friend! Thanks for reading…

  14. Gillian Bird September 5, 2016 at 3:21 am - Reply

    Chryssy are you planning to do a herb garden?

    • Chrystal Hurst September 5, 2016 at 8:51 am - Reply

      Not anytime soon 🙂 Maybe one day!

  15. Mona Brawley September 5, 2016 at 8:10 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing! Your blog.both inspired me and made me sad. It showed how temporary the thingsame we put so much care and fuss over,Sad because, I was thinking Oh No! IS SHE moving away from Priscilla? I find it so sweet that Sisters love next to each other and that your kids play together. But your words were definitely poetic and uplifting . Thank you for reminding me as I raise my family and see my family grow up and move on what really matters. Blessings!

  16. Scott Rodriguez September 5, 2016 at 4:15 pm - Reply

    I must admit…though I’m as grateful as I know how to be for a rather stirring post, this particular entry sparked all kinds of different things, both good and bad, not the least of which connects my own personal reactions to “change.” Thank you for sharing this with us and all the best on what’s yet to be written. All right, ‘looking forward and staying tuned…

  17. Linda Jent September 6, 2016 at 7:22 pm - Reply

    Wow..while trying to decide whether to downsize and move from our current home,..this spoke volumes. I will print this off and reflect on it often. So many much happiness here in our home. We take that with us no matter where we go.


    • Chrystal Hurst September 6, 2016 at 7:23 pm - Reply

      Yes you do 😉

  18. Calvonia Radford September 7, 2016 at 12:47 pm - Reply

    My pastor husband and I have been discussing a future move we hope to make. Out of the parsonage and into our own house. My daughter who is an adult and no longer living in our home is struggling with our move from “Our house”. Your blog has been helpful by giving me the correct perspective. I think I have the dialogue I need to help her. Blessings to you!

  19. Akiah Pettis September 10, 2016 at 9:09 am - Reply

    u don’t know how much i needed 2 read that…i am where u r…or rather where u were…n a physical house that i DON’T want 2 make my home and n a bodily house that needs renovation! ha! really, this blessed me…thanks 4 your transparency! XOXOX!!!

    • Chrystal Hurst September 10, 2016 at 9:24 am - Reply

      I hear you girl!

  20. Carmen September 26, 2016 at 12:52 pm - Reply

    Beautifully stated. I’ve seen numerous variations on “In this House,” but it never occurred to me to apply it to my mortal home. Thanks for sharing this.

  21. Opal September 28, 2016 at 8:22 pm - Reply

    Chrystal I’m so very thankful/grateful for your ministry! Your wisdom that you have been blessed with can bring calmness, peace and hope to any situation. I admire and highly respect your parents for the wonderful foundation of sacrifice that has been made for you and your sibling to bring honor and glory to God! Dr. Evans and Lois Evans Well Done. Thank You Chrystal!

  22. Anushka October 7, 2016 at 12:01 pm - Reply

    Loved it! So true!

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