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Do you find yourself parenting at the expense of your own peace? If you’re having a tough time navigating the highs and lows of parenting adult children, then this episode of the podcast is just the one for you. 

This episode is also for you if you’re parenting young children, because that’s where it all starts. I fully understand how hard it can be to let go after you’ve held on tightly to your children in those early years. You may wonder if you’re ready to accept the grown-up version of your sometimes-mature, sometimes-adolescent child. You may also wonder if they’re ready to accept all that comes with adulthood. You know, the paying of the bills (on time, might I add), the scheduling of doctor appointments, and the ability to make wise choices. But there comes a time when you have to stand back and trust that what you’ve poured into them will come out in the best ways, at the right times.

 

Shifting from Parent to Coach

When my children were young, parenting looked very different from what it does for me now. I would hold their little hands and constantly teach them right from wrong. It was a true hands-on training day in and day out. But I knew that my efforts would help shape the people they’ve grown into, even on the days when I felt completely overwhelmed by the weight and responsibility of being a mom. After launching a few of my children into adulthood, I can now see just how critical our prayer time, Scripture reading, and just plain fun times were for their development. Now that they’re older, I can stand back and give them the space to make mistakes within reason, offering my guidance and foresight along the way. And while my role in their lives has changed, I trust that they will never stray too far away from what was poured into them from the beginning. (Proverbs 22:6)

Supporting without Enabling

How often do you find yourself rushing in to save the day for your child? Do you assist them with their bills every now and then, or is it an every-week thing? Of course, you know your child best, and you know when they need support and when they’re ready to stand on their own. For instance, if they’re having a difficult time finding a job, then you can help them create a resume and assist with other resources you may have. However, if you find that your adult children aren’t living up to their potential, it’s time to allow them to face the consequences of their actions. What happens if they miss a payment on a credit card bill? How will they recover if they oversleep and miss their final exam? These life lessons will help mold them into responsible adults who can stand on their own two feet.

Building Boundaries to Keep the Peace

Maybe you have an adult child who is living at home. As someone who has had my adult children fly away and return to the nest, I’ve had to implement a few things to make sure we can all live in harmony. 

  • Set rules for your home – Have clear expectations for chores, curfews, and anything else that will help your household run smoothly.
  • Write down your expectations – Bonus points? Post your family guidelines for every member of the family to see.
  • Be clear in your communication – Share your expectations with your children ahead of time while everyone has a level head and a calm spirit.

I know that parenting doesn’t stop just because they’ve gone off to college, gotten married, or started a family of their own. It just looks a little different in this season. So this is me, encouraging you to stay the course and parent your children well. And don’t be afraid to share this with another mom who needs it.

 

Highlights from Today’s Episode

  • Parenting with presence
  • Coaching with compassion
  • Letting the Holy Spirit lead

Related Resources

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Other Stuff to Check Out

Let’s Talk!

  1. In what ways are you enabling your adult child? How can you shift to a position of support instead?
  2. What frustrations do you face in parenting your adult children? What expectations do you need to set to restore order in your home?
  3. How can you be more present in your parenting?

 

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How to Listen to The Podcast

If you’re new to podcasts, think of them like little radio shows that you can listen to at your convenience. They are perfect to listen to and learn from as you workout, fold laundry, wash dishes or conquer the world.

1. Listen right here on the blog. Click the little play button at the beginning of this post.

2. Listen on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Play! – Be sure and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! Also, if you would be so kind as to leave a rating on iTunes and/or write a 2-3 sentence review there or on Stitcher?  Your commentary or rating helps make the podcast more “findable” by others who might not know it exists!

3. Share today’s show –   Email the link to a friend or share on social media. Just click on the sharing buttons at the bottom of this post!

You have been so great to join me on the journey here on the blog, I hope you jump right in and do the same on the podcast!