“Baby Steps” - Crushing Your 2020 Goals...One Step at A Time

Sometimes I need the Lord Jesus to help me close my mouth.

Or at least use my words wisely and carefully.

Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death.”

Can I just be honest though? Sometimes it takes me great efforts to actively and intentionally pay attention to the words that are coming out of my mouth.

Expressing the spoken word brings relief. I literally feel better when I say what’s on my mind positive or negative. It’s almost like I just want to get the words out of my body and into the world. It’s as if the words spoken allow my soul to exhale joy, happiness, pain, or frustration.

This email may or may not be longer than the one for Lesson #2, and I do realize that some of you will prefer to listen instead of read. So…. here you go. You can listen here. You’re welcome.

SECRET PODCAST – LESSON #3

Still reading? Okay good… let’s get back to it…

I’ve lived long enough to know that words are not neutral. In the words of Maya Angelou, “Words are living things”.

When you put words into the world, they don’t enter the atmosphere without being heard – first by you. Your ears pick up whatever you say. This also means that those words enter your ears and your head. You are enforcing, reinforcing, introducing or reintroducing to your mind what your thoughts or feelings seek to express at any given moment.

It’s almost like having words you choose to bold, underline, italicize, or upsize in the font. The words spoken become truth or lies emboldened.

This lesson for me in life has come in many shapes and forms, but today I want to tell you about the lesson my Aunt Beverly taught me.

My father is the oldest child of four siblings. My grandparents raised three boys and one girl. Yup! Aunt Beverly was the only girl, and she was truly “The Princess”.

But for a long time, Aunt Beverly was a single princess.

Later in life, Aunt Beverly met and married, Uncle James, a man she loved dearly for more than two decades.

But when, during my childhood, our family visited Baltimore each year during the summer, my memory is that Aunt Beverly lived the life of a single woman.

Regardless of whatever job Aunt Beverly had, she was always involved in somebody’s church. And she wasn’t just involved; she was usually serving at a high level. Directing the choir, serving as an assistant to the pastor, running a committee, and making sure things went right! Aunt Beverly was a Church Girl to the Bone. And because she had the time as a single woman to commit to service to the local church and her savior, she did — church hats and all.

But there was always this mystery about Aunt Beverly because at various times I overheard talk in our family about a particular man who had been a part of Aunt Bev’s life. It’s a man I never knew or have a memory of meeting, but it was clearly someone that before I knew her as “single Aunt Beverly”, she had been in a deep relationship with.

And something had gone wrong.

So when I was a teenager, I got bold enough to ask Aunt Beverly to tell me about this quote “mystery man” that everyone else seemed to know about but me.

I’ll never forget that conversation.

The conversation went a little something like this…

“Aunt Beverly, can you tell me about the man you used to love? I hear people talking about him sometimes but I don’t anything about him or why y’all aren’t still together.”

Wasn’t I bold?

“Why do you want to know?”, Aunt Beverly asked.

“I don’t know. I’m just curious.” I replied.

Aunt Beverly paused for a moment, leaned her head to the side, closed her eyes, and breathed in a deep slow breath. And then she said…

“You know, Chryssy…”

She straightened her head back up and opened her eyes, fixating them deeply and directly in mine. Her stare was deep, piercing, and loving.

“I don’t mind sharing anything with you that I think will be helpful to you as you continue to grow and live your life. But I don’t see any reason to share words with you that either don’t help you directly right now or that build someone else up. If I ever think that my history with this person will be helpful to you, I promise, you’ll be the first to know.”

What I witnessed then, and knew to respect even in that young season of my life, was Aunt Beverly’s decision to choose her words carefully.

And I didn’t just witness that one time.

Aunt Beverly was one of the most gentle, encouraging yet direct and truth-telling people I’ve ever known.

Because she chose to operate in such excellence and with such high standards for her own life, she clearly communicated her expectation of the same from others.

She clearly communicated her expectation of the same from me.

When I came along, Aunt Beverly was still fairly young.

Sometimes on our visits to Baltimore, while she combed and styled my hair, almost putting me to sleep with her tender touch, she would simultaneously tell me not to easily believe the words of boys who might tell me I was pretty. She told me that any boy interested in talking to me should be willing to talk to my father.

Aunt Beverly called often to encourage me in my studies. She reminded me of the privilege I had of going to college and sharpening the ax of my mind. Aunt Bev encouraged me to stay focused and not get distracted too much by the parties and the fun. “Remember who you are”, she would tell me.

And if she happened to catch me saying anything to my parents or grandparents that was laced with even the slightest hint of “sass”, she would tap me gently on the shoulder, give me a stern look, and tell me “say that again with some respect.”

Aunt Beverly spoke highly of others, and I can’t remember her ever saying a derogatory word about anyone.

She taught me about the importance of words. Choosing to speak words that are clothed in kindness, loveliness, and excellence.

Aunt Bev taught me that I get to choose what power I put into the world.

But here’s the thing.

Having good words to put into the world starts with having good thoughts and a good heart. Luke 6:45 says, “for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”

Or her heart.

And guess what? What’s in your heart matters. Proverbs 4:23 says, “out of the heart flows the issues of life.”

So how do you make sure your heart is good? You give it good nutrition. You till the soil of your heart and ensure it has what it needs to be healthy, full, and overflowing with good things.

A heart overflowing with good things produces good words, a good mindset, and can lead to a good life.

Of course, I believe that you start with the Word of God. The Bible is the handbook for life. Why would we try to live a good life without reading the instruction manual from the creator of the life we have to enjoy?

But I also believe we need community; often we find that in our local church and in a community of some kind. Often that’s a small group, a Bible study, a book club, a dinner club, or a neighborhood connection.

But I realize that some of us don’t have that.

Or, even if we do, we need more.

This is why The Sister Circle exists. I believe in encouraging others with faith-based truths through the content I create and release into the world via videos, podcasts, blog posts, books, etc.

Why?

It’s simple; we are better together.

And when we witness other people using their words to empower, encourage, equip, educate, and embolden us to live well, we can receive the power of their words and put those words to work in our own lives.

I also believe in creating special spaces for this to happen, so I host events every now and again that will bring women together for the express purpose of getting the words we need to live with the power the Spirit of God gives us.

This is also why The Inner Circle exists.

I understand that some women simply need more. Maybe it’s because they don’t have a community that they can access or maybe it’s because they want to connect with a community for the specific purpose of practical guidance in the current season of their lives.

Maybe it’s because they need more words.

More connection. More encouragement. More direction.

More power.

I have had the gift of more power in my life. So far, I’ve told you about my Aunt Louise, my maternal grandmother, and now my Aunt Beverly. I’m so grateful for the wisdom received from each of them throughout my life.

When we share our wisdom with each other, we empower each other too.

So this is me, telling you to watch your words. They are living things. They are powerful. They can heal or destroy.

And never forget that you hear your words first.

Let me also tell you to fill your heart. Be in hot pursuit of the wisdom, love, community, joy, and truth you need to operate in overflow.

Let me also tell you that I’m glad you’re here, allowing me to share my words with you.

The last time I saw Aunt Beverly, she teared up as I prepared to leave. It’s almost as if, she knew that would be the last time we saw each other. While she didn’t speak words of sorrow, she did speak words full of love and truth.

“It’s always so special when I get to see you. I love you and am so proud of you Chryssy. Keep the Lord first and do whatever he’s telling you to do.”

I don’t know what I said in reply that time exactly, but based on my past experience with her, I know if said “Thank you, but things are so hard…” or “Love you too Aunt Bev. I hope I can figure out what I’m supposed to be doing.” or “I’m working on it.”…

She would have lovingly looked me in the eyes with that deep and loving stare and give me more powerful words.

“Things might be hard, but they will get better.”

“You will figure out what you should be doing, with the Lord’s help.”

“You keep working on it and praying about it. God will guide you.”

So this is me telling you that your words matter.

Fill up with good words.

Use good words.

The power of your life is embedded in each word you say.

Here’s hoping that my words have encouraged you today.

Here’s hoping you choose to exercise your power,

Other Stuff to Check Out…

JOIN ME IN PERSON! – On January 6th and 7th, I’ll be sharing more about how to Make Room in your life for what matters. I’m so excited about The Sister Circle Live Event and would love to invite you to come in-person or attend virtually. Space is limited so whether you will be joining me in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, or joining me via livestream, don’t delay! Grab your seat today! CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE!

You’re Invited – Interested in being a part of the Inner Circle? Now is a great time to join us as we are gearing up 2023 and preparing to launch the year well together!