When you feel alone at Christmas…

Maybe it’s because you miss your mother.

Maybe it’s because your soul is aware that the way things are  is different than the way things were before and that things will never be the same again.

Maybe it’s because you are in a room full of people, but no one actually sees you.

Maybe it’s because your heart is longing for connection that goes beyond the surface.

Maybe it’s because you want to be someone’s one and only.

Maybe it’s because you are going through the motions, but the motions are not going to satisfy.

Maybe it’s because it feels like just another day.

Maybe it’s because you had intentions of this year being different but it’s exactly the same as every other year gone by.

Maybe it’s because the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

Maybe it’s because you need answers, but no solutions are in sight.

Maybe it’s because you are afraid of what the new year holds.

Maye it’s because you are traumatized from the year that is about to close.

Maybe it’s because you feel far away from God.

Maybe it’s because you feel far away from you.

Whatever it is that is causing you to feel alone, don’t run from it. Look it in the face. Get to know the nuances of its gaze – every line, crack, and crease. If you feel alone this Christmas, that emotion is not the sum total of your story but it can tell you something about your story.

You are not alone.

You feel alone.

And this makes you human.

To notice and then get to know what your heart is aching for gives you a window into the core of your needs, your deepest desires, your inadequacies, or innermost aspirations.

Every pain prick also has the glorious job of reminding you that you are alive – that you are supposed to be a part of something bigger. It can remind you that being a thread in the human web of connection often leaves us feeling threadbare. When connections are severed, torn, ripped away, or simply untied for a season, we are left living with loose ends and those loose ends don’t feel good.

In fact, those loose ends feel horrible.

But the glory in the beauty and the burden of this season is that we are reminded we were meant for so much more.

More than being alone. More than focusing on self. More than standing still.

More than this earth will ever be able to give us.

We were meant for connection in this world but not only in this world.

So, it’s my hope for you this Christmas that you allow the hollow places to be hiding places for you to use as a retreat – a holy opportunity to reset and remember who you are and what you were made for.

And when all else falls away, never forget that you were made for more than what you can physically see and touch. Receive the present and all that it holds – highs and lows — as a gift. If you will allow these moments to give you a good perspective, you might just discover that you are motivated in the coming days to focus on what really matters, to leave an indelible mark where you can, as much you can, knowing that your presence will leave a residue.

Loneliness is a call to love deeper and better. It is a reminder that you want more of what you’ve had or that you want some of what you believe, and hope can be yours one day.

Either way, solitude in this season will help you see clearly if you let it. Then, if you choose, you can make decisions in the coming days that will create the connected life you want because you understand that this is what you were made for.

If you find yourself feeling alone this Christmas. I want you to know that there is at least one other person in the world this season that feels that way you do. In fact, this is probably the biggest togetherness of the holiday – the hard place shared by all of those who feel a deep emptiness.

Here is the good news. If you are feeling lonely, you are not separate but are in fact joined to millions of other people who feel exactly the same way you do right now. You are oh so very connected and your heart beats warm. You have the capacity for understanding and compassion. You have the ability to see beyond the surface and notice the places where love needs to flow. You have the capacity to offer what some may not even know they need before they know they need it. You are beautifully connected to a society of people who are traveling the same road you are on right now.

And this simply makes you real.

Allow the loneliness to lead you to honesty, to kindness, to compassion for yourself. Sit with it as needed and then leave it unattended when it’s time to love with the lessons it has taught you.

It is in your loneliness that you are actually not alone at all.

When you feel alone at Christmas…

Maybe it’s because your soul is aware that the way things are is different than the way things were before and that things will never be the same again.

Maybe it’s because you feel far away from God.

Maybe it’s because you feel far away from you.

Or maybe it’s because you miss your mother.

Whatever it is that is causing you to feel alone, don’t run from it. Look it in the face. Get to know the nuances of its gaze – every line, crack, and crease. If you feel alone this Christmas, that emotion is not the sum total of your story, but it can tell you something about your story.

You are not alone.

You feel alone.

And this makes you human.

Consider that your feeling of loneliness this holiday may be teaching you — about you, about what you need, who you need or who you need to be.

 

And this could be a good thing.

You are here and even if you are alone, you still get to choose to live.

And if this realization is where loneliness leads you, then maybe we can discover together that it isn’t so bad after all.

There is one other thing that loneliness may lead you to learn or remember. In fact, this is something that after all of my Christmas Day musings I’m led to remember too. The reason why Emmanuel came is because He knew that we didn’t just need God, we needed God with us.

He is here with me.

He is there with you.

And if your loneliness leads you to Him, then maybe the heartache you feel is the unexpected gift that will lead you to the perfect Gift you need this season.

He loves you.

I love you.

Merry Christmas.

 

Ways to Stay Connected