It’s easy to “turn it on”.
It’s easy to be kind to everybody else.
It’s true.
I find myself examining that reality.
At times, showing kindness to a complete stranger may be easier than offering a kind word to one of my kids.
Kind deeds extended to a another woman half a world away might seem effortless when compared to the endeavor to love well those entrusted to me right down the hall.
After a Sunday spent sharing a consistent and genuine smile with so many after church, I may come home and wonder why “turning it on” with those that I love can seem so arduous.
I mean – it’s not like I don’t love my family — I do. They mean the world to me.
But still, sometimes smiling when I feel like scowling is a challenge. Offering a kind response in lieu of a lash of the tongue can be so much harder than what it seems it should be.
Here’s what I’ve learned.
Where you love hard, you feel fully.
Where you relax the most can be the place you feel the most exposed.
Where you open your heart and your hand, you are in a position to receive something a little heavier than what you meant to carry.
Home is hard work, people.
Home is heart work.
Home is where the rubber meets the road.
Home is hard work people.
Home is “heart work”.
Home is where the rubber meets the road.
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It is the place where it is the most important to practice the disciplines that seem so effortless elsewhere.
It is the place where the people we love the most can try us the most because we give them the most.
It is the place where we desire to let down our hair, but in doing so we are then laid bare to those who know us the best.
It is the place where we want to give our best but sometimes realize that those under our roof still. need. more.
And we are tempted to respond to the trying, the unmasking, or the taxing with less kindness because we are just a little worn down.
But we love them.
And because we love them, sometimes we have to remind ourselves about how our words or acts of kindness can tell the story of our heart even when our flesh would want to do or say otherwise.
So we speak gracious words because they can be “sweet to the soul and health to the body” of the hearer (Proverbs 16:24).
While our flesh would want to yell, argue, or “get-them-back,” we remember that a “soft answer turns away wrath…” (Proverbs 15:1).
When we would be tempted to list the litany of things that are wrong, we instead use words “that are good for building up… to give grace to those that hear…” (Ephesians 4:29).
So today, when you might find yourself tempted to be a little short, a little “to-the-point,” or a bit graceless, remember that the people under your roof are the best people to whom you give your best.
Remember that those within the reach of your voice are in need of your encouragement, graciousness, and smiles.
And if you have a day or two where you didn’t do so hot, know that it’s never too late to start being the kind of person that you want your family to remember.
Smile at your peeps.
Speak kind words.
Love God. Love others.
But especially show love and kindness to those “others” who live down the hall.
“Turning it on” with those people – your people – is worth your effort. Because home is where your heart, your words, and your actions matter most.
So be kind. Show love. Give greatly.
Turn it on.
Blessings,
I’d love to have you join me on the journey.
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Thanks so much for this! I often feel so guilty when it comes to the words, actions and spirit that I show at home sometimes. I am often overwhelmed with my to do list and I wish list that I get caught up in an attitude of blah! : ).
I’ve need more if him and less of me for sure.
I just saw this entry from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotional and I was tripping over myself to get over here to share. One way that I have recently heard of to spread love is Blessing Bags. I saw it on a post on Tumblr. And what you do is get gallon sized ziplock bags and just fill them with essentials (socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, protein bars, crackers, small water bottle, vitamins, small packets of medication, etc). Make as many as your heart desires, or get your small group together and everyone can buy a certain item and then you can spend some of the time of your fellowship stuffing the bags, and just keep them in your car or stored in your home. So when you see someone in need, after you speak with them for a bit and pray for them, give them a blessing bag, especially if it is someone who has fallen on hard times. I have heard that this really is a comfort to people. You can also slip a mini Bible in there, maybe your favorite comfort verse, or even a gift card or money in there if you like. Whatever is on your heart to bless someone with, is what the bag should be filled with. The intent though is to bless someone with the basic necessities that we take for granted every day and also with what God gives us so unconditionally: love. Happy Blessing!
Hey Chrystal! God REALLY spoke to my heart through you in your blog. It just like God through you shooting an arrow and me having a bull’s eye on my heart and the arrow hitting it right smack dab in the middle of it. Girl OMG!!! You wrote this as if you wrote it just for me and me alone. (No offence to the other ladies that wrote comments.) It was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. God has truly given you a gift. PLEASE don’t lose it. I love what God is doing in my life and that He’s STILL giving me a makeover; and boy do I ever need a makeover. Well Chrystal may God continue to richly bless you, yours and your ministry. Always remember that Jesus is CRAZY about you and me too.
Hey Chrystal, its my birthday month and I am in the middle of a fast and I have not been turning kindness on to my husband. Some how my boxing gloves has come out one to many times during this time.
Which leaves me feeling so bad in the mornings to continue with my fasting.
My husband travel extensively for work, and often times when I am expecting to pick him from the airport, he is off on a jet to another destination. I know I am being silly, because this gives me the freedom do to so many things.
I am definitely going to be more gracious now after reading this. I need it for myself, as I continue to push through with the fasting. The plan is to continue through to October 23 when its my birthday (daniel fast.)
Thanks for reading,and thank you for your prayer support
Gillian (Cape town South africa )