It’s 10:26 p.m.
And I’m forcing myself to write this blog post.
It’s almost like I’m sitting here with my eyes propped open with toothpicks (remember those cartoons where the characters would do this to stay awake).
And the thing is… I can’t BELIEVE I’m so sleepy.
I’ve been a night owl all my life.
ALL. MY. LIFE.
I have been the person who would be on fire after nightfall, work faster, be furiously more effective as the clock ticked deeper into the night.
Last fall, I gradually noticed myself getting sleepier earlier than usual. I thought I was experiencing an extra bit of “tired” as a result of training for a marathon and the taxing toll all of that running was taking on my body.
Then around the holidays, after the marathon had passed yet the tiredness continued, I thought I was super sleepy because I was recuperating from the taxing journey of my marathon training.
Well, here it is – stinkin’ FEBRUARY and I’m still tired.
I think it’s because I’m getting older.
I think this is the first sign that my body is changing.
I have been a night owl for as long as I can remember. I have been pulling all-nighter’s since college and don’t think that it every really bothered me until maybe a few years ago. Slowly, I’ve noticed my ability to pull an all-nighter and then function fairly well the next day disappearing.
I’m trying to look at all of this with positive “perspecticles” and maintain a upbeat outlook, but what I’m really thinking is…
Oh God help me.
I’m losing my youthful edge.
The last time I tried to pull an all-nighter, I think I found my face on the keyboard of my laptop sometime around 2:38 a.m.
There was drool everywhere.
The times I have successfully been able to pull off the all nighter, I was totally NOT successful with any and everything I needed to do the following day.
And everybody and their mother paid the price for my attempt to act like I was 22.
So hear me say in my Color Purple voice:
I love being over forty. Lawd knows I do. But I’ll kill ’em dead (the ’em in kill ’em refers to myself or somebody else) if I keep trying to stay up all night like I’m still a college kid.
Is this the beginning of the end? Is this my slow march through a series of changes that will serve to remind me that I’m closer to the end of my life than I am from the beginning?
I have always loved staying up at night because it’s quiet. No one is calling. There ceases to be anything on the TV worth watching and I have less distractions that seek to get in the way of my productivity. Late at night has historically been the best time of day for me to deep clean my kitchen, pay bills, put away laundry, meal plan, read, and yes… blog.
Now… I just “blo…”
Remember, I told you. I won’t actually finish a post because I’ll wake up at dark thirty with my lips mashed against my keyboards and my screen having a series of bnmbnmbmnbmnbmnbmnbmnbmnbmnb’s on the screen.
I used to be a night owl.
So now I am curious. What is different about your life now then has been the case in previous years? Think back 10 or 20 years ago and tell me how YOU’VE changed.