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On today’s episode, recording artist Mandisa, shares what she calls the hardest, most difficult and dark time of her life.
Mandisa creates music that stems from her life experiences. Her last album, Out of the Dark, released May of 2017 but before that time, it had been four years since Mandisa released an album. She’d spent a large portion of that time between projects in a deep depression. She’d shut out the world and those who loved her.
What some may not know is that Overcomer, the album Mandisa released four years ago, was a compilation of songs written with her friend, Keisha, in mind who was battling cancer. Pregnant with her second son, Keisha was diagnosed with breast cancer. Mandisa wanted to record something to encourage Keisha in her fight for life. Mandisa wanted her friend to hear words and tunes that would keep her faith strong even as she experienced chemo treatments.
Keisha was supposed to be an overcomer.
And in Mandisa’s heart and mind that meant she would be healed. She believed that God assured her Keisha would be healed. Mandisa thought that healing would take place on this side of heaven.
Keisha wasn’t healed — not here at least. She passed away after seeing a only a year of her youngest’s son’s life. Although Mandisa was ecstatic about the miracle of the birth of her friend’s healthy son, she was tremendously grieved by the passing of his mother. She also didn’t know how to deal with that grief in a healthy way. Mandisa admits that she was angry with God. Putting one foot in front of the other seemed nearly impossible, so she resorted to what her emotions wanted to do: eat, binge on tv and shut out the world.
After an extended amount of time of being in that dark place, friends who loved her decided it was time for intervention. After encouraging her and doing what they could to pull out the Mandisa they knew and loved, they basically forced her to talk and go to counseling. As upset as she was about it, Mandisa is thankful that they loved her as she was but also loved her too much to leave her where she was.
Mandisa admits that she is still unfinished; the journey of walking in who she is and what she is called to do is still a work in progress. But Mandisa is out of the darkness and is using her story to pull others out of the dark place that she was once not sure she would make it out of.
Highlight from Today’s Episode:
- Coming out of darkness
- The importance of grieving
- The power of community
- Battling insecurity
Quick Links
- She’s Still There by Chrystal Hurst
- Out of the Dark by Mandisa
- Overcomer by Mandisa
- The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
==> Click to Tweet
- You can go through with God or you can go through without Him. With Him feels so much better. – Mandisa
- Choose to open your mouth and sing the praises of God, even when you don’t feel like it – Mandisa
- If you are angry with God, bring that to Him too. He can handle it. – Mandisa
- It can be overwhelming to think of how far you have to go. Decide what you can do today to take one step forward -Mandisa
- God is who He says He is, He is good. Even when He doesn’t give us what we want.
- You don’t have to go the whole mile, you just have to take one step.
- We are allowed to be a masterpiece and work in progress simultaneously.
==> Resources from Today’s Show
- The next Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study, “Worthy”based on my new book She’s Still There, starts tomorrow, September 5th, You can still register by clicking here!
- Order your copy of She’s Still There
- Connect with Mandisa on Instagram
- Check out Mandisa’s tour schedule.
==> General Links
- Want to subscribe to the blog and grab a freebie? CLICK HERE
- Did you miss Pt. 4 of my She’s Still There Story? Check it out here!
- Kingdom Woman by Chrystal Evans Hurst and Tony Evans
Let’s Talk!
After you’ve listened to the podcast, I’d love to continue the conversation. Be sure and leave a comment!
- Have you ever been angry with God?
- In what ways do you consider yourself to be “unfinished”?
- Do you battle with insecurity? What is helping you to deal with this feeling? What thoughts or Scripture are helping you to see your way through?
Connect with me…
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You have been so great to join me on the journey here on the blog, I hope you jump right in do the same on the podcast!
This is me. I am in a season or period where I am very upset with God and the things He has allowed very recently I mean literally within the last two/three weeks. I was on a high in my walk with God and was suddenly hit with unbelief in God and from there it has spiraled for various reasons into depression and like Mandisa I feel/felt idk that death and not being here would be the best option, but I am constantly trying to reassure myself that even that won’t be the solution because even if I choose that my soul will be in worst condition than it is now which is unimaginable and I can’t even stand to think of a position worse than this. I kinda am where Mandisa is on not really seeing a way out of this and that there is a way out. I can’t let this be my whole life I can’t, I don’t want to end it but I’m over this depression feeling and weakness and timidity. It’s been hard to choose life and choose to keep going but I clearly have to
I’m so sorry that you are experiencing a dark and difficult time Sylvia. Praying for you this morning… for renewed strength and grace to move forward. Also asking God for friends and community that will come around you to encourage you.
Thank you so much Chrystal! I am feeling a little better and hope I will continue to feel better each day, each hour! Thank you again!
I really like what was said today. I have been in a different situation with our daughter who is a bipolar. Thru the years we have had some problems. My daughter is now 53 and still having problems. Without God I would not have made it. Plus have had some ladies from church that have prayed for us also. I praise God for them and for God that keeps me together.
So great that you have had community to pray for you and your daughter and to support you. Thanks so much for sharing your story!
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I love Mandisa and her story! Wish we could go to lunch!! 🙂 Anyway, I can really relate to her story of being disappointed. I struggle to believe God heals. I want to believe it. I hear stories every day of people being healed. But my mom passed away after a nine year battle with a bone marrow disease. We believed through the whole journey that God was going to heal her completely. She’s in Heaven now but I miss her so much. I was in my early 20s when she passed away but a girl still needs her mom!! A few years later my aunt (my mom’s older sister) was battling with cancer. I believed that God was going to miraculously heal her and be a testimony to the medical doctors. But then she passed away a day after Christmas. I’ve recently been experiencing some pain in my body and went to a healing prayer session at my church. I wanted to believe that God can heal my pain and that He doesn’t want this pain in my body but I’m really really struggling to believe that.
Thanks so much for sharing Jennifer. I understand how confusing it can be to believe that God can heal and at the same time trust if He choose to heal someone in heaven instead of on earth. You are right to keep believing. I’m praying for our pain. I’m asking God to heal you through miracle or medicine. I’m also praying that God would continue to do a healing work in your heart as you trust Him to answer your prayers and heal your body.
So thankful that I’m not alone in my struggle. Three years ago my mom passed away suddenly and it shook my world. Because of past experiences of grieving the wrong way, I vowed to do it “right” this time. I dove into ministry ( I started a christian women’s weight loss ministry) and lost 50 lbs and pretended to be okay. But, at the 1 year anniversary of my mom’s death, i decided that grieving was too much, so I checked out. Angry with God and numb to my pain, I continued to help others, but started gaining weight and went into a dark place while helping others, and nobody said anything! Finally, i took a break from ministry and isolated myself, with binge eating and Netflix. I’ve gained all my weight back, but over the last 8 months I’ve been on a path of “grieving well” and now with the help of your book, I’m well on my way to rejoining the girl inside of me on a path of wholeness on the inside and out!
Thank you Crystal for being real and transparent and inviting others to do the same.
Thanks so much for sharing your journey! I’m so glad to hear about your healing process. One step at a time my friend. One step at a time.
Such an amazing podcast. Truly we are “unfinished”. I grew up being insecure for I lacked the security that a father provides. I looked to please people, and found it hard to say no and got taken advantage of alot. I can’t say I have ever been angry at God but I have struggled with feeling He was angry at me. But I have held on to Romans 5:8 and the depth of His love even on my darkest of days and the security in the truth that God would never leave me or forsake me. I would say so much is unfinished in my life. The last 3 years have been painfully overwhelming and its left me broken, but I believe that all things are working for my good, for He has began a good work in me and He is going to complete it. I have embraced this season of rest, of catching my breath, so that I can continue on this journey wherever He may lead.
I really appreciate the transparency in all of the interview thus far. It has been so encouraging to hear that so many women are moving towards healing both mentally, physically, and emotionally. We look at people sometimes and have no idea the Daily struggles they may face.
I look forward to connecting with many more strong women walking in faith.
Candice, I can surely relate to growing up insecure. I grew up in foster care, after being removed from my mother and her abusive boyfriend. I wanted so much to please people so I could “stay” and not be moved from place to place.
God has brought much healing into my life, as I continue to yield to Him, and allow Him to be God in my life.
I really appreciate the transparency in all of the interviews thus far. It has been so encouraging to hear that so many women are moving towards healing both mentally, physically, and emotionally. We look at people sometimes and have no idea the Daily struggles they may be facing.
I look forward to connecting with many more strong women walking in faith!
I love listening to your podcast and I have loved the She’s Still There series. However, I think the interview with Mandisa has been one of my absolute favorite! Mandisa’s transparency was so needed for me. I love her music and Unfinished is my favorite song. Thank you Chrystal!
So glad you listened!
I do want to give a shout out to Mandisa! Two years ago I was sitting in bible study and had a massive stroke. The same kind of stroke that Luke Perry recently had. My hands and legs were paralyzed. It happened within five minutes after arriving at church. I was at church and in the hospital within an hour. While Laying in the hospital bed I said God what is happening??!! The Lord replied,”you shall live and not die. Psalm112” I told my husband to bring me my bible so I could read the scripture. When I read the scripture I wanted to get up and run around that room shouting unto God. I had damaged 85% of my brain and left the doctors shocked giving God the glory! After going home, Mandisa’s music was the only music that soothes my soul so I could sleep. I felt like she was singing to me, my life. Listening to her music kept the tormenting spirits away from me at night I never experienced before! Thank you for your time.❤️
Thank u for your testimony!