Today’s post is a “two-fer”. I’m going to bring The Mustache Chronicles to an end and introduce the new “March Madness” topic.
I’ll start with the new topic partly because I’m ready to move on and partly because I’m having technical difficulties with the closing Mustache Chronicles post.
Between that and finishing up the review of my senior’s research paper, my hands have been full.
Never-the-less… here we go…
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The hair on our head is a thing ya’ll.
It’s the “mane” thing.
Tell the truth and shame the devil.
Most of us at some point and time have altered our hair in come way.
We have…
…CUT IT
…COLORED IT
…CURLED IT
…STRAIGHTENED IT
…BRAIDED IT
…”BUNNED” IT
…ADDED TO IT (with faux fixations)
…or REPLACED IT (with tresses – the faux flowing kind)
I’ve had my share of hairstyles.
And why not? The options are endless.
And when you are out of options… You can just hide it… right?
And I’m sure there while they are some of us that don’t care if the world knows if
… we are really gray
… our hair is really not that long
… or the hair on our heads is not ours at all
I’m sure I’m not the only one that wants to hide my hair secrets either.
So I’m coming out.
I’m gonna tell the truth.
I want to talk about it.
I want us ALL to talk about it!
Do you have a “thing” with people knowing what’s really going on at the top of your head? Or could you care less about people knowing the truth?
What have you done to your hair to change it, alter, increase or decrease it.
Come on… leave me a comment. Don’t leave me hanging out here by myself.
To read the next post for the #manechronicles, CLICK HERE!
Chrystal, I finally got real and dealt with the mane thing about 18 months ago. I stopped texturizing my hair and grew it out. I was not at all comfortable with my natural hair and had to come to grips with it. With myself actually. After 10 months in a protective style, I had made the mane thing, the main thing. Now I proudly sport Sisterlocks and my only regret is that I didn’t do it much sooner. Love and nappiness… Ingrid
Thanks for weighing in!
Yes I have been there and haven’t left yet! But the one thing the Lord spoke to my heart about 7 years ago was that He wanted me to stop relaxing my hair…Nah that can’t be, He wouldn’t tell me that or would He? Well He did and I did and it was freeing. God showed me that I was trying to fit in and it was almost like telling Him that He made a mistake with me by giving me this hair. So I asked Him when did it start? when did I start trying to fit in? He showed me it was something I learned as a little girl. You see I was born and raised here in Hawaii on the island of Molokai. I was raised by my mom’s parents who happened to be Hawaiian,(German, Chinese). My dad is from Kentucky who is Black, Irish and American Indian (what kind, I don’t know) so my hair is a mixture and it is wild. When I was about 7 years old when a family member bought a relaxer for me and said that it would make my hair “better and I would be prettier”….So you get it. From that day I tried everything to make my hair better so I would be prettier! Thanks be to God for His freeing power! You know Chrystal, I wonder how many of our sisters grew up thinking the same way… God bless you for bringing this subject up I believe a lot of women will be set free! Amen!
I too have been relaxing, flat ironing, hot curling and using a curling iron for over 40 years. Decided last July to be done!! ‘Au natural’ for me! Get lots of compliments too! I can not believe how much time, energy and stress my hair had caused and endured! Love my new au natural do!!
I have a very thick head full of hair and up until these last couple of years, I have been gray-free. I didn’t realize how much of a slave I was about what other people thought about me until I went natural. I had been relaxing my hair since I was in the 4th or 5th grade, begging my mom for straight hair that didn’t involve burning my neck. LOL! Because my hair grows pretty quick, I was constantly coloring it, cutting it, trying the latest styles and trends. To be honest with you, the natural style was something I stumbled into on the whim of a fad, figuring that if I didn’t like it I could go back to the relaxer. And I didn’t like it-or rather, I didn’t like myself. I felt ugly without straight hair. So I eventually went back to the relaxer. To my surprise, I didn’t like it either! That’s when God began to reveal to me that I had to learn to like myself for who I am, not for just external appearances, which will fade away, or for what other people thought, which was not important. I am a work in progress. But I’m glad to say that I am now happily natural (almost 2 years) and I’m not going back!
Why is it that we feel ugly without straight hair? Interesting topic to ponder.
I think it is what society places on beauty! I had my 4 year old’s natural hair straightened for a trim and it was like she was another little girl. Other women in the beauty shop complimented her but much more so than when she gets her typical twists. You could see she had more confidence which sadden me. I want her to feel that way with
her curls as well. So, I gave have her one good compliment and stressed how she is beautiful in any hairstyle!
Jamie, you are right! What society says is pretty pays a HUGE role in what many women are comfortable with in terms of how they wear their hair. It’s sad but it’s real. Good for you for encouraging your daughter 🙂
Crystal, thank you for bringing this subject up. I think where I am with my hair is a reflection of where I am with this midlife stage of life – confused! Tried going au natural and it was a train wreck. Then went back to relaxers but wanted length. So now I am wearing protective styles and less relaxers because my stylist is going to do a keratin treatment instead of relaxer. I felt bad for not embracing being au natural like I was not true to who I am. However I knew I needed to do it because I wanted to and not because so many of my friends and other ladies were doing it. Now I am just not sure what to do. This is a reelection of what is going on internally. I am wife, mother, daughter, friend but really who am I. I am a 48 year woman who can’t figure out something simple like how I should wear my hair. Sad……
I have colored it, cut it, permed it, extended it, added to it, braided it, bunned it, hid it. I’ve done it all. Some for better some for worse. The weather, my work out schedule, and convenience usually drives how I tame the mane!
Wow, truthfully my hair has been through the ringer: long, gone, red, yellow, black and whack but I like a lot of my sisters will just go with the flow. My hair is super thick and my natural grade is wavy more or less and dry so I either keep it short or neck length. I am always on the go and if it’s not manageable my day is throwed off. As my sister above me said the weather, the schedule and some more things dictate my hair. Whooo my hair is that thing that really does define my mood!!
The schedule and the weather dictate for me too Sharee!
All right…. I started going gray when I was 22 and am completely gray now…not that you’d know because I’ve been coloring it all that time. Oh, and last year? I had extensions. There ya go. 🙂
Hi Joy! So… thanks for being honest! Love it! What made you decided to try extensions?
Hmmmm….. my hair was relaxed from 5yo to 23yo. I’ve been natural ever since. I transitioned without a BC. I had plum highlights (loved them so much!!!). Then after they grew out, I chopped off my hair. I rocked my short hair curly, straight, and WILD! LOL some days were rough. It was short for 3 years and after blonde highlights, I’ve grown it out since. Now, I literally do what my hair lets me do. It’s all over the place…and I LOVE IT!!!!!! I tip my hat to the ladies with wigs, weaves, and the like. My scalp is too sensitive to handle any of that which stinks sometimes. Rock what you want! I’m ready for spring so my floppy fro can let loose! As long as you are presentable, do you!
Oh, I let my gray shine! But since my mane is large and in charge, only like 2 are visible. Lol. But, I wish more women would let the gray shine! I love gray hair.
It’s so funny that u posted this today. I have been going back and forth with what cut I’m gonna do next. My husband thinks I’m crazy and even says I need counseling because I’m constantly changing my look. You name it, I’ve tried it. I even have a dead spot that just will not grow in my head. As for my gray, it’s just beginning to pop out and I have not decided what to do about them, it will be contingent on what cut I get.
This had been a really great post! Makes me think a little deeper since I really have not done a lot of different things to my hair over the years. In my early 20’s I wore box braids a few times just to try it a new style/fad. My natural texture is similar to Jada Pinkett-Smith. (Can’t think of anyone else at the time lol). As a young teen, I always had my mom straighten it out I suppose since I always seen her doing the same to hers. She told me that in the 70’s she permed her hair just to make an afro. Something along those lines. Anyway, having thick curly hair took a lot of time so relaxers have been my go-to. Over the last 5 years, ONE gray hair showed up at the top of my head. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach!! I pulled it out and then felt guilty because the Lord blessed me with my growing years. I try to ignore that it’s there most of the time now that I color my hair since getting it cut short. I like wearing it short. I think it fits my face better. The color is for effect. Not hiding the one gray hair that I didn’t know was there to begin with. Over the last 2 years I have become lazy about relaxers so I gave them up. Haven’t fully embraced my curls yet so I still flat iron at least the top where it’s longer. The rest just lays down with waves. Being a mother of 5, I have too many heads to do so as long as I look the way I want, I am learning to invite change even when it’s going back to the basics. Natural hair. God bless!
Terra
I forgot to add that I don’t care what other people think though I do value my dear hubby’s opinion! Ok. That’s it…. I’m done writing! Sorry about that! 🙂
I’ve always had thick pretty hair and I’ve done everything to it. I celebrated turning 30 by dyeing it red and eventually sporting a Halle Berry type short cut. The truth is I’m natural because I got tired of feeling like I was killing my hair by perming it, but don’t like combing it so I keep it in tree braids and half wigs. Every now and then I wear it out so that it can breathe. I’ll admit that it freaked me out when I saw 2 gray hairs. I haven’t even gotten married and had kids yet! Lol. Oh well. Lord knows I’m not some silly woman so I guess it’s well-earned.
My hair is simple — I do two things. In the spring/ summer, I wear my hair in it’s naturally curly state. I flatiron it in the fall/ winter. I have not used a relaxer in 4 years and in the past two years, I have been graying rapidly (at least it feels like it.) and at 41, I am wearing the gray proudly!!!!
P.S. I have two daughters and the thing I hate most about being a mom is the fuss others have with their hair. They wear it natural too!
Chrystal, great topic for discussion. My hair has been through years of relaxers, a brief period of cold waves, blow drying, flat ironing, pressing, occasional wigs, two-strand twists, short afro, long afro, color, color, color. My hair is now free of straightening or texturizing chemicals, but I am still coloring. So I don’t know if I can say natural since I color. Maybe naturally kinky 🙂 Not sure when I will give up the color, but probably soon. Touch-ups are more frequent. I am curious how a full head of salt and pepper will look 🙂 I really like short cuts, so another big chop could be on the horizon!
Hey Chrystal!! I have spent over 20 years being relaxed. I decided to transition out of relaxers and I wore a lot of buns/knot outs. I changed my mind about being natural and wanted to relax my hair (I relax it last month). It had been at least 14 years since I had cut my hair into stylish cut (outside of your typical trimming of the ends). For a couple of months I had been eyeballing some really cute short hairstyles. So I decided last Friday to get a stylish cut. Originally my hair was well below/past my shoulders, and now my hair no longer than my index finger lol (shaved/tapered in the back as well). I just wanted something fresh and new…a change…and I got it. I have no regrets. Now, I am looking forward to some color. I love color in my hair and I used to do it pretty often. I am a fan highlights/streaks/chunks, two tones etc etc. I have had auburn/copper highlights, dark blonde, mixed blonde/copper and cherry wine rinse (thank God that was a rinse because I don’t think red is really for me, lol). I love to play with color…This may sound silly/crazy but I am considering a little bit of blue lol.
I can’t do the weave/wig thing, no phony ponies-having extra hair on my head that isn’t mine tends to annoy me lol, I end up wanting it off of my head. I like and want to feel my own hair, so it’s all that anyone has ever seen. I am fine with that.
That’s a good topic to talk about. I haven’t put any chemicals on my hair yet but yes in order to make it silky and shinny I do put henna on my hair once a while. I try to go less with trying to alter myself as I believe that God has made me the best that I can be. I also oil my hair during the week so that it would get proper nourishment and be more longer as my husband likes long hair.
Oh girl!!! What have I not done to my hair!?! Colored, permed (yikes!), highlighted, cut…I don’t know what my natural hair color is…I box color it now to hide the grey. It was a sad day when I realized I could not, not color it any more, C’est la vie! I’m afraid to cut it…it’s pretty long..lower back…and I love the idea of getting a cute bob but my hair is my “crowning glory!” Haha! Pathetic! No seriously…I find security in my long hair!! Maybe one day ill get the courage to chop it off!!
I love my hair! Okay well that’s not entirely true. I should say I love getting my hair done because I hate doing my own hair. Since I’ve been natural now for almost six years, my hair has been up, down, to the side, wild and out, colored, hidden beneath the weave, braided, and more. I love the versatility of it! And I also love surprising people from week to week. They never know how I’m going to show up because I switch up my hairstyle’s often. At first I was not comfortable with the frizziness of the natural but now you can’t tell me a thing! However, I do wish I had more patience for it. I would rather pay someone to do me and my daughter’s hair (that’s two of them Lord, lol) rather than commit the time to go through the process. That’s the next step, at least learn to braid it up decently. And in the beginning, my husband detested my choice to go natural. It was really a good 4 almost 5 years before he got on board. He wanted the hawaiian silky and wasn’t afraid to let me know it. I stuck to my guns and now he’s on board and prefers it kinky!
I went natural about 5 years ago after 30 years of perming my hair. I love it!! I’ve colored my hair a few times… cut it numerous times. I’ve had braids and twist (technically not my own, but, hey, I paid for it!) right now I’m letting the gray show and debating on whether to color it again.
Hi Crystal, I can honestly say, I love my hair and I have done EVERYTHING there is to do. I also love hair care products and could probably start a beauty supply store with all the hair care products I have that I can no longer use. I have had jheri curl in jr high school, perms, braids, weaves, you name it, and I love it all! To me, my hair is more of a fashion accessory that I can change with my mood. Right now, I”m starting locs which I intend to wear for a few years then I’ll rock a TWA. I never had identity issues related to my hair but I found others did. For instance, I wore my hair long and straight (relaxed) for most of my life. Whenever I wanted to try something different and go short, I could not find anyone who was willing to cut my hair. The only person who would cut my long hair short was my sister. No other stylist would do it because they could not believe I would want to cut my long hair off. I stopped relaxing because my hair stopped tolerating it. I love being natural but not because I don’t also love being relaxed. It just stopped working for me. I say, have fun with it!!!!
I just go to the salon weekly and get a was/set with rollers. I let the curls fall naturally during the week. It works for me and doesn’t add any stress to my life. I get a lot of compliments on my hair and my hubby love it too. No weaves or wigs for this Texas girl.
I have not had a relaxer for 2 years and know my husband hates the natural look on me. I am not a fan as well but dealing with it. I figure in a year, I will have enough length to wear cute natural styles that fit better my personality. The fuzzy look is really not for me. Not into wigs or weaves. Just want my ponytail back!
I do have one last comment on the ‘stashe..You should investigate laser when the hair returns. It will be FAR less painful than waxing and it should last longer. Lots of Groupons out there to have it done.
I will check into it Jennifer. “Laser” just sounds scary! A friend of mine told me that her neighbor had extra large pores above her top lip where her ‘stache had been. That right there made me really nervous. LOL!
I’m pretty transparent with my hair – I don’t care if people know it’s a wig, straight, natural, whatever. The only thing I don’t like is to keep the same style, I think. I was natural for 4 years and then I was like, “Ok. Let’s do something else for a while.” For me, hair is not that serious. Cut it, grow it, color it, sew it…do what you like. If it weren’t for my husband, I would probably have a teeny weeny afro (blonde or red) but I don’t think he wants his hair to be longer than mine. I have warned him, though, that I do plan to do that light-colored afro when I turn 50. Looking forward to it!
You, my friend, are HILARIOUS! Love you and your attitude about the hair!
My hair gets neglected. I’m in the minority that actually wishes that I had SOME grey to help me look a little bit older than I do… not older than I AM, just at least my age. I have a baby face.
As a kid I always had home hair cuts and my dad cut my bangs. unevenly. with clippers. My first time ever to get a salon cut was in 5th grade and I got a spiral perm to boot. That was probably my best hair.
In its natural state, even though it isn’t actually that thick (and really only somewhat wavy and not curly), I have been referred to as “Mufasa” because of how it likes to frizz out… think Ana waking up on coronation day in Frozen.
In middle school, I dyed it with peroxide, which turned it orange. In my 20’s I dyed it via a box and it turned hot pink right before I had to sing at a banquet. (This was not intentional and well before streaks of bold colors were popular). I have vowed no color “enhancements” from that day forward. So far it has stuck.
As a kid my hair was so fine it wouldn’t even hold a french braid. I always wanted “fun hair” and envied kinky curly hair styles. My girl has stick straight hair, and believe it or not I find it more difficult to manage and much less forgiving than curly hair. My mom never did a thing to my hair so I have lived vicariously through my daughter and learned how to french braid and do all sorts of “fun” stuff, but man is it work. I’ve had just as much fun with my son’s hair, which is kinky curly to the EXTREME. I’m not sure there could be a tighter curl. Yet I still find his much easier to maintain. (The detangling process is more laborious, but the daily maintenance is so much more minimal!) We’re in a transitional phase right now so it’s more “standard” at the moment, but he’s been dreaded, coiled, corn-rowed, banded and froed with the best of them :-p
So yeah. I don’t have time for my own hair. I’ve got the mom-mop. 😉
I’m actually natural underneath my sew-in weave. I Love my own hair however it has it’s own thinking an I simply get frustrated with leaving my home at 8am to get to work an by 8:15am I look as though I’ve worked out. So I simply wash an condition my real hair an braid it back down an wear weave for 3mths an the let it breath an wear a bun an 3mths later go back to weave. Yes my husband dislikes it but understanding. Thank God my friend is a beautician or this would be expensive.