How I Feel About Losing My Toe

How I Feel About Losing My Toe

Well… first of all let me say, I didn’t lose my toe.

And for that I’m grateful.

However for the last few weeks, I was told by a few doctors that I probably would lose my toe.  That possibility has sent me on a whirlwind of emotions, because who wants to be without a toe? 

What does that mean for flip flops and open-toed stilettos and not freaking people out when you walk around on the beach? It’s an appendage in which many nerves have their end.  So not important when compared to the loss of Job’s children, stuff, and health but all consuming none-the-less. Fixing it has been disruptive and expensive. The little three letter word has caused hell and havoc in my world and while I could cover up a missing puzzle piece of my person with a sock, what in the world does that mean for polishings? I mean… can you still get a pedicure?  Will anybody even want to touch your foot if a part of it is lopped off?

I realize that there are physical challenges that are more life threatening, more dehabilitating, and possibility more painful, but this situation has been super serious to me.

The very thought of having part of my body separated from the rest of me sent me into a full on panic-attack in the doctor’s office where I heard that possibility first mentioned.

After a long fall of what started out as a nuisance that gradually turned into pain I couldn’t ignore, I visited not one, not two, but three podiatrists — all who told me they could see nothing wrong with my toe that would be causing pain. And then the last doctor decided to at least do an Xray to “be sure”.

And there… clear to both myself and to him, my bone appeared to be fading away. In one moment, I moved from the original plan of simple toe nail removal to allow an irritated nail bed to heal, all the way to bone disappearance and toe amputation as a solution to a very painful problem.

I was beside myself in that doctor’s office. The podiatrist awkwardly hugged me when I started crying like a girl who’d just been dumped unexpectedly and out of the blue.  The medical assistant ran for tissue and then they both finally left me in the room to cry it out.

I totally did. 

I’m sure the whole office heard me.

It’s now been a total of seven weeks of doctors visits, MRIs, a biopsy, and now a surgery to attempt to identify what’s been inside eating away at me — literally.  The doctors still don’t know.  They have scoured for infection, for cancer, and have now sent off my culture to a universal DNA database as a last ditch effort to try and nail down the problem.

During the past seven weeks, I’ve been barefoot or in flip flops because real shoes were out of the question. Hot or cold, sunshine or rain, I’ve rocked some three dollar plastic shoes and a litany of bandaids. I’ve cried at night because of the pain radiating through my foot which always seems to be worse at night. And I’ve told the doctor that while it’s “just” a toe I would need some serious drugs to make having my toe still connected to my body bearable.

I got the serious drugs and the pain relief has come with the cost of constipation.

TMI. I’m sorry.  I choose truth.

But all seven weeks, I’ve wanted to keep my toe.

It’s a part of me.

A tiny little, itsy-bitsy, mostly unnoticed part of me that takes the full brunt of my movements everyday.

And that small part of my body was in pain.

So my whole body was affected.

I limped. I stepped back when my kids ran to greet me. I stayed indoors because cold or hot made it ache.

My mind was affected too.

I’ve worried about how this would affect my ability to parent, fix dinner, work, take care of my husband, and how much it would cost to have it treated.

My heart has shared the load.

I’ve been so frustrated and asked God why in the world He would allow me to be in situation with so much pain while my life on its own seems to have a pay load just a little heavier than so many others I’m around. I’ve cried about it. Felt sad, depressed, and alone.

Do you know how hard it was to tell people in my close circle of friends to pray for me and my toe?

Who wants to tell the world you are about to lose a toe?

Even if you are telling them because you are asking for prayer.

When we hurt it doesn’t matter how small or insignificant that hurt is. It affects every part of us.  It can affect us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We are creatures whose material and immaterial parts are interconnected.  Our pain can travel across nerve synapses and find its way into the process of our thoughts or the feelings where we find hidden ache.

Our pain affects us.

Even if it’s coming from “just” a toe.

Our pain is a part of us.

So yes, of course, we should want to heal and be whole.  We shouldn’t accept a life of agony or unending sadness or unexplained dismay.  But the reason why we work to treat the pain in our lives is because we don’t want to suffer from the finality of disconnect.

We hope we can remain intact.

Don’t get me wrong. I realize that my toe is not the final representation of who I really am.  I am more than my toe.  More than my tongue. More than my torso.  I am a unique soul that has been created by the Divine Creator and my body is only the house I have in which to exist within the atmosphere of the earth.  I am more than what I see or what I can touch.

But that doesn’t change the fact that it would be nice to exist soul and body, whole and unbroken.

How I felt about losing my toe is how I feel about losing parts of the real me. I want to treat the pain, face the pain, find out how to fix the pain.  I don’t want to prematurely solve my pain problems by severing parts of me without cause.

Yes, I know.  Sometimes severance is a part of whole living.  We trim and prune so that we can grow.

But that’s not what I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about when we cut off parts of ourselves or our experiences because the pain is too much and then we find ourselves limping through life having separated from a part of ourselves that we needed.

A part of ourselves that we wanted.

I was overwhelmingly saddened at the idea of losing my toe.

But I can honestly tell you that there are times when I should have been just as overwhelming saddened at the idea of sacrificing my hope for the future, my heart and passion for life, or the hand and role I play in my destiny.

There have been times where it hurt to hope. It was hard to press. My hands grew weary on the wheel of real life work.

So I disconnected. Gave up. Separated myself from the parts of life that hurt.

And while it may have stopped the pain, it also presented another set of problems.

But that’s another conversation for another day.

Today I just want to tell you that if you are in pain choose attachment over amputation whenever possible. It may take time.  It may involve a fight. You might need backup in the way of experts, a prescribed plan, some good ‘ol prayers warriors or a couple of solid friends. Unless this is some pain that you need to disconnect from or unless separation is healthy, choose hope over hurt and seek help for your healing.

As I type these words, the doctors still don’t know what’s wrong with my toe.  They don’t know what was eating away at my bone and causing me such severe pain.  I’m waiting for them to come back to me and tell me about the root of the problem.

But even without a full understanding of the problem, I am in less pain tonight than I have been in months because I kept looking for an answer. I’m able to bear weight and shuffle around when necessary.  My toe is still attached to the rest of me and I’m glad about it.

I’m on the move slow moving as I might be.

And I expect I’ll only improve with time.

You too, pain and all, can keep looking for an answer.

Keep moving, slow as you might be.

And know that every step, however hard it may be, only moves your forward.

By | 2017-02-18T07:02:31+00:00 February 18th, 2017|Faith|89 Comments
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89 Comments

  1. Kia Stephens February 18, 2017 at 7:02 am - Reply

    Wow! I have been following you and your toe chronicles 🙂 for sometime and I absolutely hate to hear it. I wish you didn’t have to go through it, but I have learned, in part from your podcast, that God has a purpose for our pain. Chrystal, I will be praying for you. I’m so grateful you are writing and communicating through this pain. Thank you and I hope you get better soon.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:05 am - Reply

      I know… isn’t it crazy that I’ve been talking about my toe for over a month! Lawd have mercy. Thanks for following along though. Glad to know that what I’m sharing helps you.

  2. Tyra G February 18, 2017 at 7:07 am - Reply

    Thank you for your transparency and heartfelt encouragement. I had my son Nov 2015 via an unexpected csection. the scar from my incision and mental flashbacks of a somewhat traumatic birth experience….That and the newness of motherhood sent me into some dark places. But compared to what Jesus went through for us…our journeys are a sunny walk in the park. Thank you for perspective. I will pray for you and this situation

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:10 am - Reply

      Yup I had that experience too. C-section in ’03. And then I realized that my scars were a part of my story. A story where I’ve learned, grown, and experienced victory. Part of my life is learning to love my scars. 😉

  3. Shani Rolle February 18, 2017 at 7:09 am - Reply

    Praying for you!

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:10 am - Reply

      Thanks!

  4. Kesha M. Royster February 18, 2017 at 7:15 am - Reply

    You are amazing. You may have had a handful of these experiences and thought to yourself, ” why do keep going through crazy stuff…weird things that only seems to happen to me”!

    That’s my story too but what I can tell you is that when I share it to those in my life and strangers ( I tell stranger all my business,lol). I find relief when they respond with that encouraged me or I thought I was alone.

    I’m the girl that has to spiritual principle and the whole working out for my good thing. For me that gives me peace and when I share it deposits joy in my soul!

    Life!

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:15 am - Reply

      I hear ya girl!

  5. Tyra February 18, 2017 at 7:16 am - Reply

    Chrystal,
    This is just so so good. Thank you for being vulnerable and inviting us to sit with you right in that seat of emotion. Indeed one small area of hurt affects the whole soul (just as one bit of leaven leavens the whole loaf). Today I am encouraged to not cut off an area that still holds promise just because it seems scary or requires additional attention. Praying for divine intervention, healing, wisdom for the doctors, that the children would be extra gracious 😊 And your hubs would be renewed as he serves you during this time.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:17 am - Reply

      Thanks Tyra. The kids and the hubs have been great. I might be starting to wear them out though… lol

  6. Stephanie February 18, 2017 at 7:25 am - Reply

    Thank you for your perspective. I’ve been dealing with a significant family issue for well over five years. This past week we experienced another “flare up” and it sent me into a spiral where I promised myself I would just “amputate”. This article gives me the gentle reminder that staying connected is far better than amputation! ❤

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:29 am - Reply

      So glad to hear how this post has encouraged you. And yes… those family flare ups are real…

  7. Ruth February 18, 2017 at 7:27 am - Reply

    Praying and crying with you. Hard going through physical pain. But I must say through my surgery is where I received rest, renewal, and a new focused with God for my life. It was an eye opener regarding the things that did matter compared to the things that should matter. Praying for God’s wisdom in finding the root of the problem. We are a call away.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:29 am - Reply

      Hi Ruthie. Love you.

  8. Tia February 18, 2017 at 7:34 am - Reply

    I have never experienced such pain. You are stronger than you think. God will heal your toe. Keep serving Him and enlightening us with his word.

  9. Nalini February 18, 2017 at 7:42 am - Reply

    You and your Sister bring so much encouragement to my life. These words spoke right to my heart as I too am dealing with some “life pain”…however I will continue to seek Jesus. I just will not give up! Pain and all. I’m a new follower of your podcast. I’ve heard all of them through Stitcher-think I finished them in 2 weeks. Yes, I binged listened your podcast as if I was watching a Netflix series. I am not shame. I’m waiting for the next one. Monday. I hope. If your toe lets you. I pray right now for healing of your toe, and the pain to be no more, and that the Lord keeps you strong mind, body, and spirit. In Jesus name, Amen. Thank you so much for being open for us to glean from you.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:55 am - Reply

      Thanks for your prayers! So glad to know that you have enjoyed the podcasts!

  10. Quantrilla (Quanny) February 18, 2017 at 7:48 am - Reply

    Ahhh my dear Chrystal. Not much more to say than what’s already been said. Your transparency have given us a direct connection to your journey, your pain. Thank you for sharing this. I will be praying for you and all the women that will be blessed by your words. I needed this today. I can imagine I am not the only one. God bless you and may He bring an answer and resolution to your pain.

  11. Elizabeth February 18, 2017 at 7:54 am - Reply

    I’m praying you find relief and answers.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 7:55 am - Reply

      Thank you

  12. Toni February 18, 2017 at 7:55 am - Reply

    Hugs to you Chrystal. I ask God to do a complete healing throughout your body.

  13. Judy February 18, 2017 at 7:56 am - Reply

    This is beautiful and amazing. Thank you for sharing. Hope you feel better soon 😊

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:00 am - Reply

      Thank you 🙂

  14. Daphne February 18, 2017 at 7:59 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing Chrystal. I have been praying for you and your toe situation since your last podcast and will continue to lift you up in prayer for healing and recovery.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:01 am - Reply

      I appreciate your prayers!

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 12:03 pm - Reply

      Thank u

  15. Lisa Williams February 18, 2017 at 8:08 am - Reply

    Oh my! How I wish I didn’t understand. I had an unexplainable heart attack. It’s called SCAD (Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection) and they don’t know what causes it. My blood pressure and cholesterol were just fine. I was overweight, but ran and worked out…just liked to eat. But since then (Dec 2013), I have not gotten back on the exercise horse. At that time, I was afraid of everything…thought I’d have another one in my sleep. Now, I’m married, loving in a warmer climate and I haven’t chosen to really sacrifice and embrace that part of my self care again. Despite hating how I look. Every week, I think, ‘Yep, finally got my mind right. I’m ready.’ Only to find I’m not. Reading your post makes me want to reconnect. Understand how unfair it is to my body, my future to just do nothing and let pain build.

    One of many things I admire about you is the way you FACE the giants, big and small, that come your way. Keep it up. You’re inspiring us to do the same.

    Healing and wholeness and pain-free days to you, my sister.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:11 am - Reply

      So Lisa… what are we gonna do. What’s the plan. As soon as I can put a shoe on… gotta get moving. I keep waiting to move to start with the meals. Truth is. I don’t have to wait. So what’s the plan 🙂

  16. Sonya February 18, 2017 at 8:09 am - Reply

    Praying for healing and that you find out what caused the bone loss.

  17. Cetelia February 18, 2017 at 8:11 am - Reply

    Wow! Thank you for your transparency and the much needed encouragement to choose attachment over amputation.

    I read this Susannna Wesley prayer this morning before reading your blog post, and thought it might be an encouragement to you, as you continue to mend and wait for answers.

    “Help me, O Lord, to make true use of all disappointments and calamities in this life, in such a way that they may unite my heart more closely with you.”

    Praying for you and your family today.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:12 am - Reply

      Love that. Thanks for sharing it

  18. Shaundra February 18, 2017 at 8:13 am - Reply

    I’m so sorry you have to go through this! When I read the title I was like, “Lawd, they done took her toe!!!” I’m relieved to hear y’all are still together 😉. We’ll be praying for wisdom and clarity for the doctors and for complete healing and rest for you.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:14 am - Reply

      Hahahaha… Yes Shaundra. And I figure there’s somebody out there that won’t read the whole post and think for the next year or two that I did indeed lose it. Oh well. Catchy titles win 🙂

  19. Barbara Houston February 18, 2017 at 8:41 am - Reply

    Chrystal, I have followed you also through this trial. I have for many years been amazed st what we deal with through this body. Even a paper cut that gets infected and the pain and attention it takes from your life, your days and nights. That pain. How can this tiny little thing keep me from doing so many things. It’s part of my body, MY body and it’s painful!!
    It has taken me to His Word and how He talks about the body…. the comparison of our body and the body of Christ. Such a tiny “infected paper cut” hurts the body. There is such a lesson there.
    Here’s what I know. You adore Jesus and His Word will carry you because you hear from Him. Make it OK, no. Make it not hurt, maybe. Cause you to not struggle, maybe, maybe not. But cause you to have a platform for speaking Truth? Oh yes, girlfriend!
    Thank you for being real and transparent. I pray healing to your body and your soul, pray you find the cause and peace. Pray God gives you such divine wisdom, you see His plan in your life. It’s not always how we want it, but it’s eternal and that counts!!!
    I’m blessed by your sharing. Thank you!!

  20. Carla February 18, 2017 at 8:42 am - Reply

    Thanks for sharing. This reminded me of the pain I felt when I found out that I could not have children. You’re right it’s part of my story. In my travels, as I reluctantly shared this, there was always someone in the audience who came to me and said thanks for helping me to know that God still has a purpose for me. It took me a minute to see the connection but Jesus pain and sacrifice was so that others might be saved, healed, delivered…
    Transparency is really a badge of courage..

    “He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!”
    ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭113:9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 8:58 am - Reply

      I didn’t know that Carla. And yes… it’s a part of your story. Thank you for being brave.

  21. Joyce February 18, 2017 at 8:50 am - Reply

    Chrystal, it is my heartfelt prayer that God’s will is for you to keep your toe. Yet I am encouraged to know that you, like Jesus, have decreed, “…not my will, but your will God.” I pray that God will continue to use you and your experience to help others (especially myself) to learn and be inspired by your honesty in your faith and fears.

  22. Carmen Kelton Cooksey February 18, 2017 at 8:58 am - Reply

    Wow. This was great. I’ll be praying for you Chrystal. 😘🙏🏾

  23. Cynthia February 18, 2017 at 9:00 am - Reply

    This right here!!!! Thank you Chrystal!! And although I’m trying to RUSH the process (I don’t like the pain or the questions why?) you have reminded me to STOP, TAKE A BREATH, AND CHOOSE ATTACHMENT OVER AMPUTATION!!! Praying for you and your situation as you pray for mine.

  24. Kristy February 18, 2017 at 9:03 am - Reply

    Wow!! Thanks for being so honest about your situation. I needed that encouragement today. I’m going through an issue that is requiring me to go through a process of healing myself. This process is taking longer than I expected but I’m determined to seek healing from it. The struggle is real but you reminded me that I’m not alone. Thanks for posting!

  25. Maya February 18, 2017 at 9:04 am - Reply

    Hey love!!! I am praying for you as always. You are brave in your faith for sharing your deepest truth and that reminds us all that we are human. That gives me encouragement that we all can embrace support from friends and loved ones even if it seems small to us, it’s big to God. I know that a bigger blessing will come from this. praying for you always.

    God bless you!

  26. Kelly February 18, 2017 at 9:09 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story. I pray they find out answers for you and you continue to heal. Thank you for sharing your lessons. Amputation is extreme case in all of life’s situations. As I stand for my marriage, I choose hope of healing and choose help for that healing. Too many make the choice to just get it off and move on without it-in all types of relationships and scenarios in life. We have to keep fighting! God bless!

  27. Leah Surall February 18, 2017 at 9:09 am - Reply

    I’ve been following “the toe chronicles” on Instagram and never thought your injury could result in amputation… wow! I was thinking maybe you had a bone spur or something from jamming your toe; never expected to read that something internally is causing the bone to deteriorate. I’m praying for you and your family. I appreciate you sharing with us. Attachment over amputation…. something to definitely think about for me. I’m quick to get rid of the pain instead of trying to work through the pain (because I don’t like pain but who does, right?). Appreciate your transparency!

  28. Gillian February 18, 2017 at 9:12 am - Reply

    My heart stopped for a moment. Thank God no toe lost. I needed the encouragement. Have been in and out of hospital with my daughter. Xray’s, Sonar, blood test , now waiting for biopsy results. Her tract pipe shifted which formed a mass on her chest. She does not want people to know but i need people tp pray. I am thankful for the peace of God

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 9:15 am - Reply

      Praying

  29. Dee February 18, 2017 at 9:22 am - Reply

    Hugs you. Although nothing is eating away my bone, at times I have allowed thoughts to eat away my joy. But, I realize the older I get, God doesnt allow this joy to fizzle away. I learn to keep my in constant mode of reading the Bible, hearing a sermon, or reading a blog. We are constantly having to protect ourselves from things that creep into our lives that are not good for us.

  30. Vicki Childress February 18, 2017 at 9:22 am - Reply

    And some of our greatest works for the Kingom of God are birthed out of our pain! I was so encouraged by this! Praying for you sis!

  31. rhonda February 18, 2017 at 9:31 am - Reply

    Your honesty is refreshing. ..and I hear you, and needed this. ..praying for God’s continuing healing and all He does in and through you

  32. Jennifer February 18, 2017 at 9:46 am - Reply

    Thank for sharing your heart. Your words resounded with me.

  33. Tracy February 18, 2017 at 10:06 am - Reply

    Even in painyou have a way of bringing me to the realization of where are true focus should remain. Thank you for sharing with us.

  34. Shelley (Atlantic Beach, FL) February 18, 2017 at 10:13 am - Reply

    Chrystal I am praying they figure out what is wrong with your toe and that you are able to keep it. I realize now I take for granted my toes and pedicures. I don’t get pedicures often but they are a treat to myself. When I thought about you possibly losing a toe it made me think how I might feel. You are courageous and have a great perspective about this. Hang in there!.P.S. I really enjoy your podcast. 🙂 I listen early in the morning at work.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 12:02 pm - Reply

      Thanks for listening!

  35. Shebrena February 18, 2017 at 10:19 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing.I have a similar story and you have been encouraging for me today.Can’t wait for the book.

  36. Pamela Bodden February 18, 2017 at 10:27 am - Reply

    Thanks for share. I can relate with what you said about it hurt to hope..The weight of it, to find it through the day to day. I can say honestly I have disconnected and agree with you it causes more of a problem than solution. In my times of disconnection, one thing always surfaces–I need Him and He is there in the middle of it. He is there and He gently reminds each and everytime I MOVED, not Him. Thanks for your sharing and being real honest and transparent in your journey with Jesus. I pray in His Name for a swift recovery and diagnosis in Christ Jesus name, Amen. PS love your pedicure pics, that color is fabulous!

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 12:01 pm - Reply

      LOVED THAT COLOR!

  37. Stefanie Brown February 18, 2017 at 10:47 am - Reply

    Chrystal,
    Wow!! This was thee BEST, Blessed TOE ministry I’ve ever experienced! Wait it’s the only ONE and a powerful, empowering One at that! I’m so glad you’re moving forward one & one toe 🙏🏽day at a time!

  38. Chinwe February 18, 2017 at 10:48 am - Reply

    Praying for complete healing! Awesome write up!

  39. Lisa February 18, 2017 at 10:51 am - Reply

    I have been listening to Tony Evans sermon messages for more than two years now.
    And I really listen, over and over, so I can learn and grow.
    About six months ago I clicked on your name. Now I learn from you too!
    God knows how good this is! I love you because you are real and you help us grow.
    Thank you!

  40. Jerri Williams February 18, 2017 at 11:06 am - Reply

    Thank you crystal for sharing it means a lot I am recovery from brain surgery, they found a Tumor on my brain which had to be removed. It’s been three weeks ago since surgery and I have been so discouraged. But God will see me through. Your story have encouraged me. Thank you

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 11:59 am - Reply

      Praying for your recovery!

  41. Melanie February 18, 2017 at 11:44 am - Reply

    Wow! 😳 I am crying and nodding my head in agreement with all the comments above. You really scared us! Your willingness to be so open, to look and find significant nuggets of truth to share with us in the midst of your pain is so humbling…and so appreciated. EVERY time you share like this or on a podcast, etc., the Lord speaks to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Our Lord is using you mightily. I continue to pray for you and yours. I’d not thought about giving up dreams as being similar to amputation until today, but you’re so right. Time for a few more tears…for you…and for me.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 11:58 am - Reply

      Tears can be good 😉

  42. Marcia (Organising Queen) February 18, 2017 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    Oh Chrystal, I also have a toe story. The weekend after s move to our new house, my right big toe (sane as yours) just went numb. GP, physio, podiatrist, no one could figure it out. Bloods were normal…

    My birthday’s on 6 Aug and I prayed for one thing – for my toe to feel again. I had visions (nightmares) of amputation and I’m a dancer so I need all my toes!!! But after about 2 months when spring came my toe was right again. The podiatrist thinks I stubbed it during the move and damaged some nerves and they healed slowly but the heat definitely helped. This morning my other big toe felt a bit numb and I went cold inside, ripped off my shoes and massaged my toe and it was fine but super scary.

    Anyway, wishing you health!

    Ps Katelyn James, a photographer, had a situation with her right thumb a few weeks ago. The entire Instagram prayed and after surgery they couldn’t find the problem anymore. I believe that God will do this for you too!

    http://Www.instagram.com/marcia0608

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 1:30 pm - Reply

      Thanks!

  43. Grace February 18, 2017 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    Wow! I can’t put into words how much I needed to hear this. I sincerely thank you for sharing what you are going through. I have been wanting to “amputate” my dream because of how long it’s taking to come to pass and how much of a burden it seems to be, God always brings encouragement at just the right time to keep me going. Glory to God!! I am praying for you and your toe. I’m believing with you for healing and total restoration of it, your nerves, and your bone density, in Jesus name, AMEN. The Bible says in Matthew 18:19 it only takes two. I’m sure there’s more than two in agreement with you for your healing. God bless and continue to strengthen you!! Thanks again!!

  44. Kisa K. February 18, 2017 at 3:16 pm - Reply

    Chrystal, I’m one the 20-something year olds that things that you’re absolutely cool & amazing…Thank you for your transparency…Somehow I read your blogs and it’s right on time for me as well. I hope & pray that your toe is healed. Much Love – Take Care.xx

    • Chrystal Hurst February 18, 2017 at 3:17 pm - Reply

      Yea! You don’t think I’m too old! Lol Nice to meet ya!

  45. tania beasley February 18, 2017 at 4:21 pm - Reply

    Hey Chrystal, feels like I’ve known you forever. I enjoy your blog, podcast, videos, etc. You are such an encouragement to us girls. Praying for you! This toe has got to behave in Jesus name!

    -Tania from New Jersey

  46. Zelda February 18, 2017 at 5:57 pm - Reply

    My heart goes out to you Chrystal…I think this is the footprints in the sand deal…He is carrying you sweet & real Chrystal. Love & prayers to you💕

  47. Teresa Melendez February 18, 2017 at 6:28 pm - Reply

    Chrystal,
    I am praying for a complete healing of your toe and for renewed strength both physically and spiritually. Your podcasts have blessed me and have taught me so much! Thank you again for being so real and for sharing your wisdom with us!

  48. Kim February 18, 2017 at 8:20 pm - Reply

    Crystal you have always been an inspiration to me. You always keep it real and your words of encouragement helps me so much when at the times that I need it. Praying for you and your speedy recovery! God bless you and your family.

  49. Melanie February 18, 2017 at 8:20 pm - Reply

    Life can be crazy but thank God He is in charge. I am adding you to my prayer list tonight. Hang in there, He will fulfill His plans for you and it’s already being used for good– great message! God’s got this one. Rest. Be still. God will fight for you, you only need to be still. Do not fear.

  50. Gloria February 18, 2017 at 8:49 pm - Reply

    Thank you for that! I had to separate myself from my workplace for.now and God allowed it to move me forward to His destiny. I’m not there yet, but in His time. I know that I will have to deal with the unkind person over me in my workplace, but not until my heart forgives. Thank you for your story! God bless!

  51. Erica February 19, 2017 at 12:08 am - Reply

    This really spoke volumes to me. It makes me look at things in a different light. Instead of running from issues and wanting to detach from things so quickly, try staying attached and dealing with and facing what needs to come in order for healing to take place. That’s truly where growth comes in. Thanks. I needed this so much. I’ll be praying for you on your toe issue. May God grant you healing, comfort, strength, and restorationin the name of Jesus. Blessings to you.

  52. Sheena Williams February 19, 2017 at 5:01 am - Reply

    Praying for you. God’s continued blessings.

  53. Shelly Brown February 19, 2017 at 7:35 am - Reply

    Thank you for keeping us updated on your “toe” journey. Praying they figure out the issue and that you get to keep your toe.

  54. Dot Buenacasa February 20, 2017 at 8:04 am - Reply

    Such a great reminder about the Body of Christ. When one part is hurting, how it affects all the parts of that body. I am sorry you had to go through this to get the revelation but God is working, He is never late. Praying someone will have an answer. May God reveal it to them.

  55. Elnita Fennell February 20, 2017 at 10:39 am - Reply

    Thank you for your transparency. This really helped me. I’m praying for you.

  56. Wendy G. Bronson February 20, 2017 at 11:01 am - Reply

    Oh boy do I relate to this one. Different cause, but still hurt toe(s). I have one toe that is going in for surgery #3 on 4/27. The big toe next to it goes this time too, due to a misdiagnosed break that healed wrong. Foot pain is no picnic. But we keep moving. God is good to provide the strength for the day (and night time too). So thankful our glorified bodies will ne whole & pain free. All God’s blessings to you Chrystal.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 20, 2017 at 11:25 am - Reply

      Wow! Surgery # 3! Goodness. Praying all will go well!

  57. Veronica Cross February 20, 2017 at 11:49 am - Reply

    I am so happy you kept on looking for an answer. We, women I mean, quit after the first doctor. It is a blessing you have a persistent spirit. I am praying for you and your family. From one mother of the mother to another (I am too young to a grandmother), please rest and pace yourself. Do not push yourself too much. Sometimes we as women place the world on our shoulders and want to be there for everyone; hubby, kids, grandkid, family, church, etc but this is your time to rest and FINISH YOUR BOOK!!! Love ya.

  58. Tonya February 20, 2017 at 4:09 pm - Reply

    Praying for you, Chrystal!
    I hate you are struggling with your toe, but your post is spot on! God has been dealing with me on this very thing every where I turn!

  59. Calvonia Radford February 21, 2017 at 8:54 am - Reply

    Chrystal you story is so saturated in the truth of God’s sovereign grace. He does allow us to feel pain. Unbearable at times, but even in our pain he is there. A very present help. Yes, He is! You are reaching so many as we follow your story of physical pain. Thanks for showing us what you now see with your spiritual eyes. Your test is becoming a testimony so that we may be better for it. May God heal you to wholeness and may he continue to use you for his glory and our edification. “But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers”. Luke 22:32 HCSB

  60. Dionne Delaney February 21, 2017 at 10:05 am - Reply

    All I can say is WOW!!!! I get so many blog posts and devotionals that it is hard for me to keep up with all of them. Sometimes, I don’t get to read all of them. I must admit that I was startled to see a discussion about your toe in the title and so curiously, I opened this post.

    As God would have it, I needed to read and “hear” what you had to say regarding the lessons you are learning about pain. I can’t tell you how your transparency met me AT THE POINT OF MY NEED this morning. I am in some pain about an upcoming MAJOR transition in our life. instead of processing it with someone and pressing into it, I have quietly chosen to disconnect. I have now made a decision NOT to disconnect, but will pray for the ears of those who will hear my pain. It is not easy to share because there are so many layers to it, but what I know for certain is that I can’t take the pain into the next season. It will only hinder what God is doing.

    Praying that the Lord will give you peace in these moments concerning your toe. Know that your transparency helped this little girl….

  61. lostandfound February 21, 2017 at 10:41 am - Reply

    Hello Chrystal,
    I love your candidness, when we’re dealing with pain, I don’t think there is anything that’s TMI when the body (of Christ) hurts. Several years ago a horrible pain was inflicted into my family, and instead of moving toward Him, I ran hurdles to move away from Him and everything that represented Christ. I thought if this pain was His picture of love, then I wanted nothing to do with this kind of love or Him. Over seasons, I began to “hobble” through steps of healing first with crutches (elders), then with a cane (counselors) and slowly began a rehabilitation process without enablers back to The One who truly cared. I am now again faced with that same recurring pain and I feel like the healing steps I took to overcome so many years ago, were only suppressed, so as you recover and as I recover, we wait on Him for the refillable prescription! Thank you for being real and praying for total and complete restoration.

    • Chrystal Hurst February 21, 2017 at 7:08 pm - Reply

      Yes… refillable prescription! Love that! #dailybread right?

  62. Ferlene February 22, 2017 at 11:53 am - Reply

    I love your blog! I am happy you have your toe! Looking forward to seeing you again! We met at Progressive in 2014 (Stockton, CA) and since then I have been following you on social media and your blogs. I’ll be at the Sweet Life Conference in Modesto. I was soooo happy to see you will be speaking! Love you my sister in Christ! You’re in my prayers! You are such a blessing to all of us women! Thank you for your truth, your realness and being so inspiring!

  63. Fran March 3, 2017 at 8:52 am - Reply

    I share this experience & I connect. I had a compound fracture in an accident. It was instant foot amputation. God is love. He kept telling me, your are still intact, loved with a love unknown. That gave me joy & peace. Had plenty pairs of shoes. I joyfully gave them away. He instantly turned my pain & anxiety into a deep song of one loved with a priceless love

    • Chrystal Hurst March 6, 2017 at 7:16 am - Reply

      Love that. Thanks so much for taking the time to share.

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